[1617] in Humor
HUMOR: More on Music
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Mon Sep 23 09:47:09 1996
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Cc: bales@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 23 Sep 1996 09:37:59 EDT
Date: Mon, 23 Sep 1996 00:16:57 -0800
From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
From: "Karen Kienitz (415)725-5817" <KIENITZ_K@HOSP.STANFORD.EDU>
From: Colin Fisk <fisk@connectix.com>
Drum roll....
Q: How do you get a viola section to play spiccato?
A: Write a whole note with "solo" above it.
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Q: What's the definition of a gentleman?
A: One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't.
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Q: What do you call someone who hangs around a bunch of musicians?
A: A drummer.
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Q: How do you get 5 oboes in tune?
A: Shoot 4 of them.
Q: What are burning oboes used for?
A: To set bassoons on fire.
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Q: How do you make a guitarist play quieter?
A: Put a sheet of music in front of him.
Q: How do you make him stop?
A: Put notes on it!
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Q: What's the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower?
A: You can tune a lawnmower.
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Q: What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?
A: People cry when you chop an onion into pieces.
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Q: What is the difference between an accordion and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before jumping on the trampoline.
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Q: There's a five pound note on the floor. Which of a thrash guitarist,
a drummer who keeps good time and a drummer who keeps bad time picks
it up?
A: The drummer who keeps bad time: the other drummer doesn't exist and
the thrash guitarist doesn't care about notes anyway.
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Q: What happens if you sing country music backwards?
A: You get your job and your wife back.
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Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding,
he sings.
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If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.
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A guy walks into a shop.
"You got one of them Marshall Hiwatt AC30 amplificatior thingies and a
Gibson StratoBlaster geetar with a Fried Rose tremulo?"
"You're a drummer, aren't you?"
"Yeah. How'd you know?"
"This is a travel agency."
