[1597] in Humor
HUMOR: The Ultimate Junk email
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Thu Sep 12 10:07:33 1996
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 12 Sep 1996 10:00:01 EDT
It's a JOKE people!
-Drew
------- Forwarded Message
From: Espacionaute Spiff domine! <MATOSSIAN@aries.colorado.edu>
From: Richard Johnson <rjj@medialab.com>
Subject: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! VIRUS WARNING!!!!!!!!
...
Date: Tue, 03 Sep 1996 21:04:30 -0600
From: hans@xor.com (Hans Bjordahl)
There is a computer virus that is being sent across the Internet. If
you receive an e-mail message with the subject line "Free Money," DO
NOT read the message. DELETE it immediately, UNPLUG your computer,
then BURN IT to ASHES in a government-approved toxic waste disposal
INCINERATOR.
Once a computer is infected, it will be TOO LATE. Your computer will
begin to emit a vile ODOR. Then it will secrete a foul, milky
DISCHARGE. Verily, it shall SCREECH with the tortured,
monitor-shattering SCREAM of 1,000 hell-scorched souls, drawing
unwanted attention to your cubicle from co-workers and supervisors
alike. After violently ripping itself from the wall, your computer
will punch through your office window as it STREAKS into the night,
HOWLING like a BANSHEE. Once free, it will spend the rest of its days
SODOMIZING household PETS and MOCKING the POPE.
Some filthy, disgusting miscreant... some no-good, low-down, good-for
-nothing DIRTY SNAKE, in twisted pursuit of his own sadistic dreams,
is sending this virus across the Net via an e-mail entitled "Free
Money." What is so terrifying about this virus is that you do not even
to have to open the e-mail for it to activate. In fact, you do not
even need to RECEIVE the e-mail. You do not even need to OWN a
COMPUTER. "Free Money" can infect even minor HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES.
How it does this with straight ASCII code is, franky, a matter of some
debate... but BELIEVE YOU US, if this weren't a SERIOUS situation, we
wouldn't be discussing it in ALL CAPS.
So for the LOVE OF GOD, forward this e-mail to all those you claim to
care about, all those you purport to love. Don't do it later! Do it
NOW! Now! Now! NOW! NOW! NOW!
Attachment converted: deathlab:free_money_virus.sea (VIRUS/VRS) (0003D961)
Content-Type: virus/sea; name="Free_Money_Virus" (SUCKER/SKR) (SRC:WTBR)
Auto-Infect: enabled
------- End of Forwarded Message
--
Heather Madrone
(heather@madrone.com)
http://www.madrone.com
"Can you amaze me?" Matisse Madrone, age 3.5.
------- End of Forwarded Message
