[1578] in Humor
HUMOR CLASSIC: Blonde Jokes
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Thu Aug 29 17:27:09 1996
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 29 Aug 1996 17:14:04 EDT
Date: Thu, 29 Aug 1996 16:19:27 EDT
From: "Mark A. Herschberg" <hershey@MIT.EDU>
From: radhika@phsbbs.princeton.nj.us (Radha Venkat)
From: Brendan Miller <brendan>
Date: Wed, 06 Nov 91 21:18:31 EST
Here's a bunch of jokes I found somewhere. I have nothing against blonds
(my sister is), but I stll found them pretty funny:
(If you think they might offend you, press the space bar now!)
Q: What did the blonde say when she opened the box of
Cheerios?
A: Oh look! Doughnut seeds!
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Blow in her ear!
Q: What do you call 6 blondes in an elevator?
A: Wind shear!
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a carp?
A: One's a dumb, scum sucking parasite and the
other's a fish.
Q: Why do blondes drive VWs?
A: Because it's the only car they can spell!
Q: Why do blondes have clear lunch boxes?
A: So they know if they're going to work or going
home!
Q: What did a blonde name her pet Zebra?
A: Spot!
Q: Why can't blondes be pharmacists?
A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter!
Q: How do you measure a blonde's IQ?
A: With a tire gauge!
Q: What is a blonde doing when she grasps at thin air?
A: Collecting her thoughts!
Q: Why are blondes are too biased?
A: Bias this, bias that ...
A blonde went to California and saw a sign, "Clean rest
room ahead." By the time she had reached the coast,
she had cleaned 68 of them!
Q: Why do blondes wear pony tails?
A: To hide the valve stem!
Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
A: She has a checkbook!
Two blondes were driving to Disneyland when they saw a
sign that said, "Disneyland Left" -- So they turned
around and went home!
A blonde ordered a pizza. The clerk asked how many
pieces she wanted it sliced into, six or twelve. "Six,"
she said, "I could never eat 12."
Q: Why are there no blonde computer programmers?
A: They can't see the screen for all the
white-out!
Q: How do a blonde's brain cells die?
A: Alone!
Q: What do blondes have painted at the top of ladders?
A: "STOP"!
Q: What do you call the skeleton of a blonde found in a
closet?
A: The winner of a Hide and Seek game.
Q: How can you tell when a blonde has faxed you
something?
A: All you can see is the outside of the envelope.
Q: Why do you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday!
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using your
lawn mower?
A: The green "Welcome" mat is ripped to shreds!
Q: What can strike a blonde without her knowing it?
A: A thought!
Q: What do four blondes have in common?
A: Nothing they can think of!
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the
Panama canal?
A: One is a busy ditch!
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy?
A: Take a piece of paper, write "OVER" on both
sides and tell her to read the piece of paper.
Q: How did the blonde break her arm raking leaves?
A: She fell out of a tree!
Q: What do you call a group of blonds standing in a row?
A: A wind tunnel!
I hope none of these were offensive to anyone...
Brendan Miller
- Disembodied gutteral noise need not make sense.
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