[1542] in Humor
HUMOR: Windows with Southern Exposure
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Wed Jul 31 10:08:51 1996
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 31 Jul 1996 10:06:21 EDT
Date: Tue, 30 Jul 1996 22:38:46 -0800
From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
From: Mike Beyries <mbeyries@netmanage.com>
< forwards searching for their Dixie-to-English dictionaries ...>
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Ways things would be different if Microsoft was headquartered in Louisiana
* Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
* Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
* Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw"
* Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be "Dueling Banjos"
* The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse
* Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk
redneck yelling "Freebird!"
* Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be
"Achy-Breaky Heart"
* PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"
* Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul C++"
* New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now!"
* Instead of VP, Microsoft bigshots would be called "Cuz"
* Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
* Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse
* Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver
* Well, the next thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire...
* Spreadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in
your front yard
* Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator
* Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates
