[1540] in Humor
HUMOR: Cheer up! You could be Jordan...
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Tue Jul 30 17:06:39 1996
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Tue, 30 Jul 1996 14:58:46 EDT
Date: Tue, 30 Jul 1996 14:46:49 -0500
From: rhopper@wesleyan.edu (Rick Hopper)
>Here is one for all of you struggling to make ends meet.
>(or not, although it certainly seems to be a relative thing...)
>
>
>Jordan will make over $300,000 a game, $10,000 a minute assuming he
>averages about 30 minutes a game.
>
>Assuming $40 mil in endorsements next year, he'll be making
>$178,100 a day (working or not)!
>
>Assuming he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while
>visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
>
>If he goes to see Independence Day, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll
>make $18,550 while he's there.
>
>If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling
>it.
>
>He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage (after the wage hike)
>
>He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.
>
>If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take
>him a whole 12 days.
>
>If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they
>would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.
>
>A quickie will net him $1855.
>
>He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be
>'reimbursed' $33,390 for that round.
>
>He could take 1/100,000th of his income and buy some poor college
>student 5200 packages of Ramen.
>
>Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into his tax
>deferred account (401k), he will hit the federal cap of $9500 for such
>accounts at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st, 1997.
>
>If you were given a tenth of a penny for every dollar he made, you'd
>be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.
>
>He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the
>Olympics.
>
>He'll make about $15,600 while the Boston Marathon is being run.
>
>While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy
>Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600.
>
>Next year, he'll make more than twice as much as all of our past
>presidents for all of their terms combined.
>
>And something to cheer you up after all of this........ Jordan will
>only have to have this income for 270 more years to have a net worth
>equivalent to that of Bill Gates.
>
>_____________________________________________________________________________
> Gene S. Lee / / \/ \ \ / Happy! Happy! \
> Department of Computer Science /__|O||O|__ \ \ Joy! Joy! /
> The University of British Columbia |/_ \_/\_/ _\ | \ ___________/
> CICSR #107, 2366 Main Mall | | (____) | || |/
> Vancouver, B.C. V6T 1Z4 \/\___/\__/ // _/ gslee@cs.ubc.ca
>^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
>
