[1521] in Humor
HUMOR: JoTD
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Sun Jul 14 00:20:07 1996
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Sun, 14 Jul 1996 00:01:30 EDT
Date: Sun, 14 Jul 1996 03:47:05 +0000 (GMT)
From: Espacionaute Spiff domine! <MATOSSIAN@aries.colorado.edu>
Date: Fri, 12 Jul 1996 07:05:01 -0400 (EDT)
From: Keith Bostic <bostic@bsdi.com>
Forwarded-by: glen mccready <glen@qnx.com>
Forwarded-by: Andrew Boyd <aboyd@qnx.com>
A cop is waiting across the street from a bar parking lot late on a
Saturday night, watching for drunks trying to drive home. After a short
wait, one particularly sad case stumbles out the door, front of his shirt
soaked, bleary-eyed, confused, wandering the parking lot looking for his
car. He locates his car, fumbles for his keys, gets in (bumping his head
in the process) and drives off, bumping the curb on the way.
Of course he doesn't get very far at all before the cop is on him, and he
immediately pulls over. The cop has him step out of the car, sizes him
up, and administers several field sobriety tests, with much effort (the
driver has trouble understanding some of the tests). The driver fails
all the tests miserably: can't touch his nose, can't walk straight, can't
stand on one foot, can't recite a speedy alphabet.
The final legal step, of course, is the breathalyzer, so the cop asks his
subject to blow into the tube. Green light. In disbelief, the cop checks
the breathalyzer and has the suspect try again. Another green light --
the guy's blood-alcohol level is legal.
"Alright," says the cop, "how can you pass a breath test when you're so
obviously falling-down drunk?"
"Well, it's like this," replies the guy. "I'm the designated decoy."
