[1512] in Humor
HUMOR: Engineers' dating life
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Thu Jul 11 11:44:07 1996
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 11 Jul 1996 11:34:35 EDT
Date: Thu, 11 Jul 1996 00:42:53 -0800
From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
From: Howard Stateman <howeird@best.com>
>From: Jennifer Hoar <jhoar@MailBox.Syr.Edu>
>From: Carol Wulfman <wulfmanc@cuug.ab.ca>
Subject: Engineers: Dating and Social Life... (fwd)
A guide for engineers (and friends of engineers...):
Dating is never easy for engineers. A normal person will employ various
indirect and duplicitous methods to create a false impression of
attractiveness. Engineers are incapable of placing appearance above
function. [...] But the engineer's emphasis on function over form is a big
disadvantage for dating, where the goal is to act phony until the other
person loves you for the person that you are.
Engineers don't like to make small talk because no useful information is
exchanged. It is more useful to explain complicated technology issues to
any human being that will stand still. That way at least some information is
exchanged and the encounter is not wasted. Unfortunately, it seems that a
normal person would rather have a bushel of pine cones rammed up the nose
than listen to a story about technology. But that's no reason to stop
imparting valuable knowledge to a person who doesn't want it.
Sometimes normal people will try to use body language to end an encounter
with an engineer. But engineers ignore body language because it is an
imprecise science at best. For example, it's almost impossible to tell the
difference between a comatose stare and an expression of interest.
Fortunately, engineers have an ace in the hole. They are widely recognized
as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable, employed, honest,
and handy around the house. While it's true that many normal people would
prefer NOT TO DATE an engineer, most normal people harbor an intense
desire to MATE with them, thus producing engineerlike children who will have
high-paying jobs long before losing their virginity.
Male engineers reach their peak of sexual attractiveness later than normal
men, becoming irresistible erotic dynamos in their mid thirties to late
forties.
Female engineers become irresistible at the age of consent and remain that
way until about thirty minutes after their clinical death. Longer if it's
a warm day.
>Extract from: The Dilbert Principle, Scott Adams.
