[1496] in Humor
Fwd: A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Tue Jun 25 10:06:03 1996
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Tue, 25 Jun 1996 09:56:46 EDT
Date: Mon, 24 Jun 1996 16:50:07 -0400
From: LMCCOOPER@aol.com
From: nbn@io.com (Joe C. White)
To: lmccooper@aol.com (Lynn Cooper)
Date: 96-06-24 15:28:31 EDT
Feel free to print this up and give it to potential prospects for me.
;-)
>
>A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys
> -- By Mikki Halpin and Victoria Maat
>
>So, your crush on the bass player from Vibrating Sandbox has finally died
>a whimpering death and you're wondering where to go from here. All the
>sinister dudes are either dating a series of interchangeable high-school
>riot girls in baby doll dresses and an overdose of manic panic, or
>permanently shacked up with some bitter old lady who pays all the bills.
>Which will it be, a wifely prison or a humiliating one night stand? Into
>this void of potential mates comes a man you may not have considered
>before, a man of substance, quietude and stability, a cerebral creature
>with a culture all his own. In short, a geek.
>
> Why Geek Dudes Rule
>
> They are generally available.
>
> Other women will tend not to steal them.
>
> They can fix things.
>
> Your parents will love them.
>
> They're smart.
>
>
>Where The Geek Dude Lurks
>
>While they are often into alternative music, geek dudes tend not to go to
>shows too often. Instead you'll find them hanging out with their friends,
>discussing the latest hardware revolution or perfecting their Bill Gates
>impressions. You know how some people wear t-shirts with their favorite
>bands on them, thus showing that they went to certain shows? Well, geek
>dudes wear t-shirts with the logos of different software companies on
>them, thus showing that they are up on the latest, um, releases. A small,
>though convivial, rivalry may be detected here amongst the geek dudes.
>Try wearing one yourself and see if he strikes up a conversation.
>
>Of course the best way to meet a geek dude is through the Internet. All
>geeks harbor a secret fantasy about meeting some girl in cyberspace,
>carrying on an e-mail romance in which he has the chance to combine an
>activity he is comfortable with, computing, with one he is very
>uncomfortable with, socializing. To many geek dudes, cyberdating is just
>an advanced form of some kind of video game, but they are frustrated by
>a lack of players. Their lack is your strength.
>
>
>Imprinting
>
>You might notice that these men harbor some strange ideas about how the
>world works and some particularly strange ideas about women. There is a
>reason for this. Because they've had limited interpersonal experience,
>geek dudes must look elsewhere for behavior models. Lacking a real world
>social milieu, geeks often go through a transference stage with such
>narratives, and try to model their interactions on them. Thus, certain
>media images and themes come to have an overly cathected, metaphorized
>reality to them, while the rest of us view such programming as mere
>entertainment. Case in point, our next topic...
>
>
>The Trek factor
>
>If you're not up on your Star Trek, you can forget about getting or
>keeping a geek dude. And I'm not just talking vintage-era Captain Kirk
>and Spock either. You've got to be up on your The Next Generation, your
>Deep Space Nine, your Babylon 5. Armed with your own knowledge of
>Federation policies, you can better gauge when and how to act. The sexual
>politics of Star Trek are pretty blunt: the men run the technology and
>the ship, and the women are caretakers (a doctor and a counselor). Note
>the sexual tensions on the bridge of the Enterprise: the women, in skin
>tight uniforms, and with luxuriant, flowing hair. The men, often balding,
>and sporting some sort of permanently attached computer auxiliary. This
>world metaphorizes the fantasies of the geek dude, who sees himself in
>the geeky-but-heroic male officers and who secretly desires a sexy, smart,
>Deanna or Bev to come along and deferentially accept him for who he is.
>If you are willing to accept that this is his starting point for reality,
>you are ready for a geek relationship.
>
>
>Once You've Nabbed Him
>
>Of course, catching that geek guy is only half the battle. Keeping him
>by your side is another story altogether. I was privileged to speak with
>Miss Victoria Maat, who not only got herself a geek guy but was also
>clever enough to marry him just a few short months ago. She interrupted
>her newlywed bliss to give us a few tips on the care and feeding of a geek
>man:
>
>Geeks are sensitive and caring lovers and husbands. If you can hang with
>the techno-lifestyle, they make the best mates. They are the most
>attractive people, not flashy or hunky, but the kind who get cuter and
>more alluring over time (I told you she was a newlywed). Definitely give
>geeks a chance.
>
>
>Geek Cuisine
>
>Geeks tend towards packaged, junk foods since they prefer to work and
>think and aren't all that into cooking for themselves. Make sure that
>your geek understands that you are not merely a replicator, and provide
>him with home cooked food. A batch of chocolate chip cookies will let
>him know that you love him. You do have to monitor your geek for weight
>gain; however, remember that most of their days are spent sitting and
>staring at a monitor.
>
>
>Geek Lifestyle
>
>The geek dude has long work habits and tends to bring his work home with
>him. He seems permanently connected to his hard disk. You must at least
>appear interested in his work. Generally, a solid understanding of the
>computer is a must; if you cannot master this, you should at least be able
>to talk the talk. Remember most geeks are anal and they get stressed
>about details which appear insignificant. Be understanding, put on your
>best Deanna Troi face (see above) and empathize.
>
>To relax, geeks love to play the latest computer games. Let him play Myst
>or Chuck Yeager's Air Combat for hours if he wants to. Act concerned if
>he's stuck or has just been ambushed by three MiGs. My geek loves to try
>to help people on the Internet who say that they are stuck in Myst. He
>comes up with clever riddles instead of directing them point blank. Geeks
>also like to go to sci-fi and Japanese animated movies, again, a basically
>harmless vent for your man.
>
>
>Geek Buddies
>
>Many geeks extend their work friendships into what they jokingly refer to
>as RL (Real Life, also known as "that big room with the ceiling that is
>sometimes blue and sometimes black with little lights"). The greatest
>thing about your geek's buddies is that you can feel secure in setting
>them up with your girlfriends. They may feel awkward around females at
>first, so don't overwhelm them. In time they will come out of their shell
>and realize that you are into the same things they are.
>
>
>Post-It Note
>
>I thank Victoria for the above advice. I must say that when she read my
>draft of the piece, before writing her section, she asked her husband
>which one he thought she was more like, Deanna or Beverly. Howard, the
>devil, immediately replied that he had always thought Victoria was
>actually most like Ensign Ro Laren, a cute character with a slight
>authority problem who is always had trouble (this is fairly apt). This
>exchange is interesting for several reasons:
>
> Howard had already thought about who she was most like.
>
> He could summon up characters from seasons past with ease.
>
> Victoria actually knew who he meant.
>
> Folks, I think this marriage will last.
>
>
>One Last Thing
>
>Because they have been so abused and ignored by society, many geeks have
>gone underground. You may actually know some and just haven't noticed
>them. They often feel resentful, and misunderstood, and it is important
>to realize this as you grow closer to them. Don't ever try to force the
>issue, or make crazy demands that he choose between his computer and you.
>Remember, his computer has been there for him his whole life; you are a
>new interloper he hasn't quite grasped yet.
>
>Geek dudes thrive on mystery and love challenges and intellectual puzzles.
>Don't you consider yourself one? Wouldn't you like a little intellectual
>stimulation or your own? We thought so.
