[1465] in Humor
HUMOR CLASSIC: Church Stories
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Fri May 31 11:51:55 1996
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 31 May 1996 11:40:43 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Thu, 30 May 1996 22:38:41 -0800
From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
From: splbndr@netcom.com (Ric Goldman)
From: kahn @ drcoffsite.com ("Laurence G. Kahn") @ UGATE
The following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins:
1. Thursday night - Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
2. Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the
new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come
forward to do so.
3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
5. The rosebud on the altar this AM is to announce the birth of David Alan
Belzer, the sin of Rev and Mrs Julian Belzer.
6. This afternoon there will be a meeting on the South and North ends of the
church. Children will be baptised at both ends.
7. Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs Johnson will sing "Put me in
my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
8. This being Easter Sunday we will ask Mrs Lewis to come forward and lay an
egg on the altar.
9. The ladies of the church have cast off their clothing of every kind. They
can be seen in the church basement Sunday.
10. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music
will follow.
11. At the evening service tonight the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
12. Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.
