[1461] in Humor
HUMOR: Mom's Brownies
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Wed May 29 10:01:46 1996
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 29 May 1996 09:45:14 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Tue, 28 May 1996 22:22:28 -0800
From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
From: geri@Rational.COM
MOM'S BROWNIES
Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.
Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.
Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr "no, no."
Add margarine to 2 cups sugar.
Take shortening can away from Jr. and clean cupboards.
Measure 1/3 cup cocoa.
Take shortening can away from Jr. again and bathe cat.
Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing
shortening from cat's tail.
Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour.
Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows
for ventilation.
Take telephone away from Billy and assure party on the line the call
was a mistake. Call operator and attempt to have direct
dialed call removed from bill.
Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well.
Let cat out of refrigerator.
Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan.
Bake 25 minutes.
Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy. Explain to kids that you
have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn. Throw cat outside
while there's still time and he's still able to run away.
FROSTING
Mix the following in saucepan:
1 cup sugar
1 oz unsweetened chocolate
1/4 cup margarine
Take the darn teddy bear out of the @#$% broiler and throw it away --
far away.
Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn't
know Jr had slipped out of the house and was heading for the
street. Put Jr in playpen.
Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2
minutes.
Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden
hose in man's front door mail slot. Promise to pay for
ruined carpet.
Tie Billy to clothesline.
Remove burned brownies from oven.
