[135] in Humor
HUMOR: smokers' rights
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Fri Mar 11 14:17:56 1994
From: abennett@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 11 Mar 94 14:15:44 EST
Date: Fri, 11 Mar 1994 01:47:29 -0700
From: Espacionaute Spiff domaine! <matossian@aries.colorado.edu>
Subject: smokers' rights
Date: Tue, 08 Mar 94 21:07:31 -0500
Forwarded-by: Leon Marr <marr-leon@cs.yale.edu>
Forwarded-by: John Robinson <jr@ksr.com>
From the BMW Club of Houston's newsletter, from the Central Cal BMW Riders'
newsletter, from "The Intelligencer" submitted by Buddy Croft of Lubbock
Texas (whew!):
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Smokers Rites
I think the war between the smokers and non-smokers is heating up a bit. I
went into a restaurant for lunch the other day and, as is my practice,
requested a table in the "no smoking" section. They seated me, and I went
about the business of ordering and eating my food.
Somewhere between the clam chowder and a club sandwich, I caught the smell of
nearby burning tobacco. Upon looking around, I noticed the man in the booth
next to me smoking a freshly lit cigarette.
Overcoming my natural reticence regarding confrontation, I spoke to the man.
"Excuse me, sir, but, when you came in, did you ask to be seated in the
no-smoking section?"
"Yes, I don't like the smell of smoke when I am eating any more than anyone
else."
I asked, "Then why are you smoking that cigarette?"
"I've finished eating."
Silly me, it was obvious to the most casual observer.
I called the server over and made her aware of the situation. She pointed out
to the man that he was smoking in a No Smoking section (I suspect this was
not a startling revelation) and went away with his assurance that he was just
leaving.
Of course he didn't leave until he had finished that cigarette and lit
another. But at least he did finally go.
Apparently he had noticed the motorcycle helmet and jacket I was wearing when
I came in, because in a minute or so, I noticed him eyeing the Harley parked
by the front door. He took out a small notebook, wrote something on a leaf
from it, tore off the note, and placed it between the seat and gas tank.
His next action took me completely off guard. He looked straight in the
window at me, then put his foot against the gas tank and shoved the
motorcycle over on its side. He then spun around and ran smack into a very
large, bearded fellow who apparently owned the Harley.
That which ensued netted him at least one broken bone and hopefully a little
jail time. After the police had come and gone, I helped the bearded gentleman
right his bike, and noticed the note the man had left. I unfolded it and
read: "This will teach you to mess with smoker's rights."
I laughed and handed the note to the cigar-chewing biker. I then went around
to the other side of the building, got on my BMW, and went back to work.
