[133] in Humor
HUMOR: Bet on it.
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Wed Mar 9 17:14:45 1994
From: abennett@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 09 Mar 94 15:12:05 EST
Date: Tue, 8 Mar 1994 17:09:05 -0700
From: Espacionaute Spiff domaine! <matossian@aries.colorado.edu>
> From: jhersh@telco.com (Jonathan Hersh)
>
> An elderly lady walked into a branch of the Chase Manhattan Bank building
> holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young man at the
> window that she wished to take the $3 million she had in the bag and open
> an account with the bank. She said that first, though, she would like to
> meet the President of Chase Manhattan Bank. Due to the amount of money
> involved, the teller seemed to think that that was a reasonable request
> and after opening the paper bag and seeing bundles of $1,000 bills which
> amounted to right around $3 million, telephoned the President's secretary
> to obtain an appointment for the woman.
>
> The woman was escorted upstairs and ushered into the president's office.
> Introductions were made and she stated that she liked to get to know the
> people she did business with on a more personal level. The bank
> president then asked her how she came into such a large sum of money.
>
> "Was it an inheritance?" he asked.
>
> "No," she answered.
>
> "Was it from playing the stock market?" he inquired.
>
> "No," she replied.
>
> He was quiet for a second, trying to think of where this elderly woman
> could possibly have come up with $3 million.
>
> "I bet," she stated.
>
> "As in horses?" he asked.
>
> "No," she replied. "I bet people." Seeing his confusion, she explained
> that she just bet on different things with people. All of a sudden she
> said, "I'll bet you $25,000 that by 10:00 o'clock tomorrow morning your
> balls will be square."
>
> The bank president figured she must be off her rocker and decided to take
> her on her bet. He didn't know how he could lose. For the rest of the
> day he was very careful. He decided to stay home that evening and take
> no chances as there was $25,000 at stake.
>
> When he got up in the morning and took his shower, he checked to make
> sure everything was okay. There was no difference in his scrotal
> appearance. He looked the same as he always had. He went to work and
> waited for the woman to come in at 10:00 o'clock, humming as he went. he
> knew this would be his lucky day -- how often did he get handed $25,000
> for doing nothing?
>
> At 10:00 o'clock sharp the woman was shown into his office. With her was
> a man. When the bank president asked what the other man was doing in the
> office, she informed the president that he was her lawyer and she always
> took him along when there was that much money involved. "Well," she
> asked, "what about our bet?"
>
> "I don't know how to tell you this," he replied, "but I'm the same as
> I've always been, only $25,000 richer!"
>
> The lady seemed to accept this, but requested that she be able to see for
> herself. The bank president thought this was a reasonable request
> considering the amount of money involved and dropped his trousers. She
> instructed him to bend over and then she grabbed hold of him. Sure
> enough, everything was fine. His balls were not square.
>
> The bank president then looked up and saw her lawyer, standing across the
> room banging his head against the wall. "What's wrong with him?" he
> inquired.
>
> "Oh, him," she answered. I bet him $100,000 that by 10:00 o'clock this
> morning I'd have the president of Chase Manhattan Bank by the balls."
>
