[1257] in Humor
HUMOR CLASSIC: How Cold is it?
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Mon Jan 8 13:41:43 1996
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 08 Jan 1996 11:36:07 EST
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
This makes the rounds every winter...
-Drew
Date: Fri, 5 Jan 1996 16:29:19 -0800
From: kidder@mail.sdsu.edu (Susie Kidder)
From the Wisconsin State Journal Thursday Dec. 21 1995 by Esther Glas
How cold is it? Here's an annotated thermometer.
50 -- Miami residents turn on the heat.
40 -- Californians shiver uncontrollably; Wisconsinites go swimming.
35 -- Italian cars don't start.
32 -- Water freezes.
30 -- You can see your breath; you plan your vacation to Australia;
Wisconsinites put on T-shirts; pliticians begin to worry about the homeless.
25 -- Boston water freezes; Californians weep pitiably; Wisconsinites eat
ice cream; Canadians go swimming; cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you.
20 -- You can hear your breath; policians begin to talk about the
homeless; New York City water freezes; Miami residents plan vacation
further South.
15 -- You plan a vacation in Mexico; cat insists on sleeping IN your bed
with you.
10 -- Too cold to snow; you need jumper cables to get the car going.
5 -- You plan your vacation in Houston.
0 -- American cars don't start; Alaskans put on T-shirts; too cold to skate.
-5 -- You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo; Wisconsinites
stick tongues on metal objects; Miami residents cease to exist.
-10-- Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you; politicians
actually do something about the homeless; Wisconsinites shovel show off roof.
-15-- Too cold to think; you need jumper cables to get the driver going;
only ice chunks hit the bottom of the outhouse.
-20-- You plan a two week hot bath; the Mighty Monongahela freezes;
Japanese cars don't start.
-25-- Californians disappear; Wisconsinites button top button; Canadians
put on sweaters; your car helps plan your trip South.
-30-- Congressional hot air freezes.
-50-- Hell freezes over; polar bears move South.
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Susie Kidder =]
kidder@mail.sdsu.edu
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
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