[1234] in Humor
HUMOR: Misc. Bits.
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Tue Dec 5 10:20:50 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Tue, 05 Dec 1995 10:15:03 EST
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Tue, 05 Dec 1995 09:29:24 EST
From: Chris Murphy <chris@MIT.EDU>
From: "Terry Colvin" <colvint@fhu.disa.mil>
Date: Mon, 04 Dec 95 16:59:42 EST
Subject: Flying anecdotes
TWC sends...
Here are some press cuttings I've found which may amuse depending on your
sense of humour.
Unfortunately I don't have the original sources, but I can assure you that
they're all genuine.
PERSONAL TOUCH
Mr Clive Mackrell, an air-traffic controller, saw a Cessna 182 that
he was guiding in to land go out of control at Blackpool airport and hit his
new car yesterday. No one was injured.
-----------------------
`A banana caused a French passenger aircraft to go on hijack alert and turn
back in mid-flight on June 18,' reports Reuters. `A passenger on board an Air
Inter Airbus from Paris to Malaga, Spain, mistook a bulge in another
passenger's trousers for a gun and alerted the crew. After the return to Orly
airport, paramilitary gendarmes discovered the fruity nature of the bulge.'
-----------------------
34 year-old Jean Aliers broke down when his girlfriend rejected a marriage
proposal 20,000 feet up in the air. Mr Aliers and his lover, both keen
skydivers, were in the middle of a jump when he presented her with a ring and
asked her to marry him. To his horror, however, she screamed in his ear: "I'm
screwing your father." Without further ado he screamed back: "I'm strawberry
jam, you bitch, and it's your fault," before unharnessing his parachute and
tumbling earthwards to his death. His girlfriend was devastated, not least
because, as she later explained, "It was just a little joke."
------------------------
Customs officers in Egypt are among the most vigilant in the world, as
discovered by Abdul Dhouti when he tried to pass through Cairo airport with a
gold ingot clenched between his buttocks. Officials first became suspicious
when they saw Mr Dhouti limping through the `Nothing to declare' aisle
clasping his bottom with both hands and claiming that an in-flight prawn
cocktail had "turned my innards to burning fire." He was allowed to pass, but
had barely gone 10 paces when he was heard to cry, "Shit!" following which a
gold bar worth 68,000 pounds popped out of the bottom of his trousers. Under
interrogation he blamed Jordanian Airlines' prawns for producing "a most
devilish and unnatural movement of the bowels."
------------------------
____________________________________________
|Tom James | |
|Chemistry Dept | * e-mail * |
|Southampton University | tjj194@soton.ac.uk |
|England | |
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