[1232] in Humor
HUMOR: Limited Holiday Greetings
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Fri Dec 1 13:46:12 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 01 Dec 1995 13:36:26 EST
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Fri, 01 Dec 1995 05:35:57 +0000 (GMT)
From: Espacionaute Spiff domine! <MATOSSIAN@aries.colorado.edu>
Date: Thu, 30 Nov 1995 12:05:02 -0500
From: bostic@bsdi.com (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: psl@acm.org (Peter S. Langston)
Forwarded-by: Jascha Franklin-Hodge <JoeShmoe@Misty.com>
By: Edward G. McManus
Merry Christmas From The Legal Department
I. Though we, the "Greetor," wish you well
In our Holiday Entreaty,
We limit all your claims, Dear Friend
(Herinafter called the "Greetee").
II. We wish you dreams of Sugar Plums
And dancing Christmas Lights,
But if these Fancies come to Naught
You have no Vested Rights.
III. In no case shall we be at fault
In Implied Claims of Fitness,
And all Writs of Depression must
Be Sworn before a Witness.
IV. Although our Approbations
Are Warranted full free
Of Defects in Sincerity
There is no Guaranty.
V. Whenever there's a Conflict
These, our Contract Terms, will rule;
The "Greetee" then is on his own
To have a Happy Yule.
VI. We hope that You, Your Kith and Kin
Find Christmas Viability;
But if You don't, note now that We
Decline all Liability.
VII. So if you don't hear Sleigh Bells ring,
Or smell the fresh cut Pines,
You have, "Greetee," Released our Firm,
Successors, and Assigns.
VIII. And if Our Heartfelt Christmas Wish
By Counter Claim is marred,
We may, at our Sole Option,
Repossess this Christmas Card.
Accepted: ________________________
(Greetee)
Witness: ________________________
(Written by Edward G. McManus, Marlborough, MA; published in the
December 1981 issue of some computer magazine)
