[1227] in Humor
HUMOR: The Healthiest Couple
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Thu Nov 30 16:30:50 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 30 Nov 1995 16:23:28 EST
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Well, it's humor to us scotch drinkers, anyway... :)
------- Forwarded Message
Date: Wed, 29 Nov 1995 22:48:22 -0800
From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
Subject: HUMOR?: The Healthiest Couple
THE HEALTHIEST COUPLE*
They brush and they floss
with care every day,
But not before breakfast
of both curds and whey,
He jogs for his heart
she bikes for her nerves;
They assert themselves daily
with appropriate verve.
He is loving and tender
and caring and kind,
Not one chauvinist thought
is allowed in his mind.
They are slim and attractive
well-dressed and just fun.
They are strong and well-immunized
against everything under the sun.
They are sparkling and lively
and having a ball.
Their diet? High fiber
and low cholesterol.
Cocktails are avoided
in favor of juice;
Cigarettes are shunned
as one would the noose;
They drive their car safely
with belts well in place;
At home not one hazard
ever will they face.
1.2 children they raise,
both sharing the job.
One is named Betty,
.2 is named Bob.
And when at the age of
two hundred and three,
They jog from this life
to one still more free,
They'll pass through those portals
to claim their reward,
And St.Peter will stop them
"just for a word."
"What Ho" he will say,
"You cannot go in.
This place is reserved
for those without sin."
"But, we've followed the rules"
she'll say with a fright.
"We're healthy" --
"Near perfect" --
"And incredibly bright."
"But, that's it" will say Peter,
drawing himself tall.
"You've missed the point of living
by thinking so small."
"Life is more than health habits,
though useful they be,
It is purpose and meaning,
the grand mystery."
"You've discovered a part
of what makes humans whole,
And mistaken that part
for the shape of the soul."
"You are fitter than fiddles
and sound as a bell,
self-righteous, intolerant
and boring as Hell."
--EVELYN ROCHETTO
