[116] in Humor
HUMOR: Top 10 Lists
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Wed Mar 2 11:08:30 1994
From: abennett@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 02 Mar 94 11:03:48 EST
Date: Tue, 1 Mar 94 17:19:43 PST
From: ckleinja@Novell.COM (Connie Kleinjans)
Subject: HUMOR: Recent Top-10 Lists
From: rossix!rwc.dnet!apdma@openlink.openlink.com (Mary Ann Anthony)
Top 10 Dog Science Fair Projects
10. Water Dish vs. Toilet Bowl: A Taste Test
9. Canine Hallucinations and that Tiny Little Chuckwagon
8. The Aerodynamics of Sticking Your Head Out a Car Window
7. Using a Particle Accelerator To Separate Kibbles from Bits
6. Because We Can: Why Dogs Lick Themselves
5. Symptoms of Cirrhosis in Spuds MacKenzie's Liver
4. The Visible Dissected Cat
3. Black Laboradors: Genetically Better Fetchers?
2. Radar Bitch Finder
1. Your Master's Leg: A Study in Friction
Top 10 Least Popular Father's Day Gifts
10. Build-your-own-enlarged-prostate model kit
9. Gag paternity suit subpoenas
8. A week at Dick Button's Ice Dancing Fantasy Camp
7. The Ronco Testicle Vise
6. A year of wake-up calls from Bea Arthur
5. Decorative canister full of Andy Rooney's old hankies
4. "Ask Me About My Gay Son" T-shirt
3. A tie like Dave's
2. Videotape of Mom's "date" with Rob Lowe
1. Handsome wall plaque listing all of Donald Trump's
accomplishments next to all of Dad's accomplishments
Top 10 Indy 500 Pit Crew Pet Peeves
10. Drivers who want a free NFL mug with every fill-up
9. Being played in movies by Jim Nabors
8. Racers in such a hurry to get out of pit they run over my
origami birds
7. For the rest of your life, anytime you're in a car that
gets a flat everyone just assumes you should fix it
6. They keep blacking out good parts of the Rob Lowe video
5. It's hard to pick up chicks while reeking of methane
4. The way those suction cup Garfield dolls fall off at 230
m.p.h.
3. Joke T-shirts that say: "Pit crew guys do it in seven
seconds."
2. Really big dogs who get themselves booked on late night TV
shows and then don't show up
1. Those pansies at Jiffy-Lube
