[1159] in Humor
HUMOR: Toaster & Poptart Update
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Wed Oct 25 15:31:58 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 25 Oct 1995 15:26:43 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Wed, 25 Oct 1995 18:42:17 +0000 (GMT)
From: Espacionaute Spiff domine! <MATOSSIAN@aries.colorado.edu>
From: Richard.Johnson@Colorado.EDU (Richard Johnson)
Date: Tue, 24 Oct 1995 22:52:15 -0600 (MDT)
>From: Jeannie Mobley-Tanaka <mobleyta@Colorado.EDU>
Subject: truth is stranger than poptarts
To all of you who were enthralled with the great poptart-and-toaster
experiment:
Upon reporting to work at the [University of Colorado] museum today, I
discoved that the experiment had been replicated, although under poor
controls (after all, we are soft scientists). It seems that the substitute
security guard had attempted a pop tart (flavor unknown) in the museum's
toaster during her break. She left the room momentarily, only to smell
smoke and return to--yes, flames shooting out of the toaster. I am happy
to report that all those years of fire drills paid off, because the
building was evacuated efficiently, despite the billows of smoke rolling up
the stairwell from the first floor room which housed the toaster and the
unfortunate pop tart. Boulder police, campus police, and the Boulder fire
dept. (complete with two hook-and-ladder trucks) promptly arrived on the
scene, ensured that the fire extinguisher had adequately done its job, and
escorted the unruly toaster from the premises. We have been assured that
it will not return to cause any further incidents on state property.
Regarding the scientific angle, witnesses confirm that the frosted poptart
did produce a good deal of flame as well as smoke, and that the flames were
orange, tinted at the base and tips with green. This observation has led
to a good deal of discussion regarding the chemical composition of the
frosting, however no chemists were on hand during the experiment, and the
fire dept. removed both the pop tart and toaster data sets before
petrographic thin sections could be made. A distinctive petroleum-based
aroma was also noted, but the scientific community remains split on whether
it was emitted by the preservatives or the toaster.
While this experiment was not rigorously controlled, I think it could add
some important data to the previous experiment we have all studied. Too
often scientists forget that toasters are basically a social species and
may behave in an aberrant manner when placed in an unfamiliar laboratory
setting. (For those of you who would question the social nature of
toasters, I offer as evidence the amount of time they spend in the break
room!) I think that the more natural "real life like" setting of this
current research provides strong comparative data to evaluate the true
value of laboratory studies previously conducted.
As for the nerves of the substitute security guard, I think they will
recover fully, although she may have pop tart nightmares for a year or so.
And she was comforted to learn (from me of course) that her recent loss of
job security has greatly forwarded the cause of science in this exciting
field.
As always, glad to keep you abreast of the most current happenings in
science,
Jeannie
