[1136] in Humor
HUMOR: WEIRDNUZ.394 (News of the Weird, August 25, 1995)
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Sat Oct 14 10:16:01 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Sat, 14 Oct 1995 10:13:46 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Fri, 13 Oct 1995 23:56:42 +0000 (GMT)
From: Espacionaute Spiff domine! <MATOSSIAN@aries.colorado.edu>
Date: Fri, 06 Oct 1995 09:35:02 -0400
From: bostic@bsdi.com (Keith Bostic)
WEIRDNUZ.394 (News of the Weird, August 25, 1995)
by Chuck Shepherd
LEAD STORY
* In June in Van Nuys, Calif., Raphael Dale Rodriguez, 24, was charged
with beating his girlfriend (maximum fine in California, $1,000) and
strangling her pet rabbit (maximum fine, $20,000). In December, two
Oklahoma police officers faced charges--one of beating his girlfriend so
badly she suffered a ruptured eardrum (maximum jail time in Oklahoma, 90
days), and the other of kicking a cat at the Oklahoma City airport
(maximum prison time, 5 years). And in Tallahassee, Fla., in May,
sheriff's deputies charged Aaron Moore with bludgeoning his mother to
death and were set to charge his friend, David Baity, with having sex with
her corpse when they discovered that there is no law in Florida against
having sex with a corpse. [Los Angeles Times, 6-28-95] [Columbia
Tribune-AP, 12-26-94] [St. Petersburg Times-AP, 7-11-95]
POLICE BLOTTER
* In May, state police in Tennessee arrested Jack Allan Iles and charged
him with telephone harassment after he called in a bomb threat to the
office of the state attorney general in Nashville. According to the
employee who received the call, Iles threatened to deliver an Oklahoma
City-style bomb but then asked for the address of the office. [The
Tennessean, 5-4-95]
* A man escaped after robbing a First National Bank branch in Farmington,
N. Mex., in March and brandishing a road flare that he called a bomb.
Police later discovered that his getaway car was a white Dodge Caravan
that he had just taken out for a test drive from a local dealer and which
he returned immediately after pulling off the robbery. [Albuquerque
Journal, 3-28-95]
* In March, in Bristol, Ind., someone burglarized an apartment and stole
a Sega video game. The only lead police had was that the burglar used
the toilet during the crime but did not flush. The victim's daughter
solved the crime by pointing out a 13-year-old neighbor boy who was well
known around the apartment complex for not flushing. [Elkhart Truth,
3-9-95]
* In July, Jeffrey F. Mull, 32, reported to the police in Mifflinburg,
Pa., that someone had broken into his trailer home while he was sleeping
and stolen the dentures out of his mouth. Said police Sgt. George
Fausnaught, when questioned by reporters, "It could be any number of
things." [Bloomsburg Press Enterprise, 7-19-95]
* In Boston in July, veteran criminal Nick George Montos, 78, who was the
first person ever to make the FBI's Ten Most Wanted list twice, was
arrested in an unsuccessful antique store robbery. Owner Sonia Paine,
73, grabbed an aluminum bat and smacked Montos three times, knocking him
to his knees. When police arrived a short time later, Paine slugged him
again to knock a gun out of his hand. [Austin American-Statesman-AP,
Jul95]
* Ricky Rose, 34, was charged with armed robbery in Raleigh, N. C., in
May after taking a man's wallet at a gas station by threatening him with
a stapler in his ribs. Questioned by a Raleigh News & Observer reporter,
police said they did not know whether the stapler was loaded. [Raleigh
News & Observer, 5-26-95]
* Jay Stanton Liebenow, 37, was arrested in Bethesda, Md., in July and
charged with robbing a CVS pharmacy. According to police, Liebenow
successfully robbed the store of drugs, but was caught when he returned
a few minutes later because he had forgotten to steal syringes.
[Montgomery Gazette, 7-19-95]
PEOPLE UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT
* Grocery store owner John A. Tavlian was placed under citizen's arrest
in March after a confrontation with a Frito Lay delivery man, who had
removed non-Frito Lay products that Tavlian had displayed on a Frito-Lay
rack. Allegedly, Tavlian threatened to kill the man by pummeling him,
over and over, with packages of potato chips. [Foothill Leader (Glendale,
Calif.), 3-8-95]
* In May, a New Jersey judge sentenced Karen Dobrzelecki, 20, to 13 years
in prison for strangling her newborn baby. According to the judge, the
woman had earlier refused to abort the fetus because of her Catholic
beliefs. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution, 5-13-95]
* In May, a woman telephoned police in Durham, N. C., to file a missing
persons report on her son, Darryl Wayne Byrd, 38. The woman described
him as 6-feet tall and 180 lbs., last residing in the 500 block of
Holloway Street. She said she last heard from him in May 1977. [Durham
Herald-Sun, 5-3-95]
* In February, on the day after New York Gov. George Pataki proposed that
convicted rapists be forced to take an AIDS test (to let victims know if
they are at risk), Brooklyn Assemblyman Joseph Lentol was critical. He
accused Pataki of trying to "demean" sex criminals. [N. Y. Post, 2-2-95]
* Eleven days after the Oklahoma City bombing, promoters the Suncoast Gun
Show in Tampa, Fla., told dealers not to display military manuals and
books that contain recipes for napalm and Molotov cocktails. Said one
dealer, to the St. Petersburg Times: "We're totally surrounded by guns,
but they don't want me to sell a book?" [St. Petersburg Times, 4-30-95]
* An April Gannett News Service story described how some TV stations have
assured the Federal Communications Commission in official documents that
they have met their legal obligation to serve "children's educational and
informational needs." Among the controversial assurances was the one of
WLWT in Cincinnati, which listed two "Donahue" shows, "Teenage Strippers
and Their Moms" and "Parents Who Allow Teenagers to Have Sex at Home."
[Burlington Free Press, Apr95]
I DON'T THINK SO
* In Waukesha, Wis., in May, James Oswald, 50, was convicted of murdering
a police officer and kidnaping hostages during an escape from a bank
robbery and sentenced to two life terms in prison plus 625 years. Oswald,
who acted as his own attorney, suggested to the judge the alternative
sentence of an ancient-Roman-style "trial by combat," in which he and
one of the officer's sons would be given guns and would fight it out, with
the more divinely-blessed person prevailing. [AP wirecopy, 5-31-95]
Copyright 1995, Universal Press Syndicate. All rights reserved.
Released for the entertainment of readers. No commercial use
may be made of the material or of the name News of the Weird.
