[1131] in Humor

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HUMOR: Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Thu Oct 12 16:58:09 1995

To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 12 Oct 1995 16:52:59 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>



Date: Thu, 12 Oct 95 16:39:40 EDT
From: mabehr@MIT.EDU (Michael Behr)
Forwarded-by: bostic@bsdi.com (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: "Josh M. Osborne" <stripes@va.pubnix.com>
Forwarded-by: jokes@elxr.jpl.nasa.gov

RING ...
RING ...
*click*

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want.
    Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will
    tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press.
    No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that
    the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about
    to bite off your ear.




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