[1035] in Humor

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HUMOR: Medical Technology

daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Tue Aug 29 17:54:25 1995

To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Tue, 29 Aug 1995 17:50:48 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>


Date: Tue, 29 Aug 95 15:56:59 EST
From: pug@MIT.EDU (Sharalee M. Field)
From: Ilona Y Lohrey <ilohrey@beta.tricity.wsu.edu>


       ******************************************************
       *     Of two evils choose the prettier !!!!  >=)     *
       *                                                    *
       *     Ilona Yvonne Lohrey                            *
       ******************************************************

Medical Terminology for Non-Doctors

Anally -- occurring yearly
Artery -- study of paintings
Bacteria -- back door of cafeteria
Barium -- what doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- letter like A, E, I, O, U
Caesarian section -- district in Rome
Cat scan -- searching for kitty
Cauterize -- made eye contact with her
Colic -- sheep dog
Coma -- a punctuation mark
Congenital -- friendly
D&C -- where Washington is
Diarrhea -- journal of daily events
Dilate -- to live long
Enema -- not a friend
Fester -- quicker
Fibula -- a small lie
Genital -- non-Jewish
G.I. Series -- soldiers' ball game
Grippe -- suitcase
Hangnail -- coathook
Impotent -- distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- torture in a teepee
Labor pain -- got hurt at work
Medical staff -- doctor's cane
Morbid -- higher offer
Nitrate -- cheaper than day rate
Node -- was aware of
Outpatient -- person who had fainted
Pap smear -- fatherhood test
Pelvis -- cousin of Elvis
Post-operative -- letter carrier
Protein -- favoring young people
Rectum -- darn near killed 'em
Recovery room -- place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- amorous
Secretion -- hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- study of knighthood
Terminal illness -- sickness at airport
Tibia -- country in North Africa
Tumor -- an extra pair
Urine -- opposite of you're out
Varicose -- located nearby
Vein -- conceited


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