[87801] in SIPB IPv6
Are you ready for a new car?
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (NewCars)
Fri Jan 27 00:15:47 2017
Date: Thu, 26 Jan 2017 13:37:18 -0500
From: NewCars <newcars@newcarforthisyear.com>
To: <sipbv6-mtg@charon2.mit.edu>
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take care of you Would you trust your partner to care for your child for a=
week by themselves Do you trust them to handle your money or make sound d=
ecisions under pressure Do you trust them to not turn on you or blame you =
when you make mistakes These are hard things to do. And they re even harder=
to think about early on in a relationship. Trust at the beginning of a rel=
ationship is easy. It s like Oh I forgot my phone at her apartment I tr=
ust her not to sell it and buy crack with the money I think. But the deepe=
r the commitment the more intert ed your lives become and the more you wi=
ll have to trust your partner to act in your interest in your absence. Ther=
e s an old Ben Folds song where he sings It seems to me if you cannot tru=
st you cannot be trusted. Distrust has a tendency to breed distrust. If y=
our partner is always snooping through your stuff accusing you of doing th=
ings you didn t do and questioning all of your decisions naturally you w=
ill start to question their intentions as well Why is she so insecure What=
if she is hiding something herself The key to fostering and maintaining tr=
ust in the relationship is for both partners to be completely transparent a=
nd vulnerable If something is bothering you say something. This is importa=
nt not only for addressing issues as they arise but it proves to your part=
ner that you have nothing to hide. Those icky insecure things you hate sha=
ring with people Share them with your partner. Not only is it healing but=
you and your partner need to have a good understanding of each other s ins=
ecurities and the way you each choose to compensate for them. Make promises=
and then stick to them. The only way to truly rebuild trust after it s bee=
n broken is through a proven track record over time. You cannot build that =
track record until you own up to previous mistakes and set about correcting=
them. Learn to discern your partner s own shady behavior from your own ins=
ecurities and vice versa . This is hard and will likely require confrontat=
ion to get to the bottom of. But in most relationship fights one person th=
inks something is completely normal and the other thinks it s really grad=
e A fucked up. It s often extremely hard to distinguish who is being irra=
tional and insecure and who is being reasonable and merely standing up for =
themselves. Be patient in rooting out what s what and when it s your big =
gnarly insecurity and sometimes it will be trust me be honest about it. =
Own up to it. And strive to be better. Trust is like a china plate. If you =
drop it and it breaks you can put it back together with a lot of work and =
care. If you drop it and break it a second time it will split into twice a=
s many pieces and it will require far more time and care to put back togeth=
er again. But drop and break it enough times and it will shatter into so m=
any pieces that you will never be able to put it back together again no ma=
tter what you do. 5. A healthy relationship means two healthy individuals U=
nderstand that it is up to you to make yourself happy it is NOT the job of=
your spouse. I am not saying you shouldn t do nice things for each other =
or that your partner can t make you happy sometimes. I am just saying don t=
lay expectations on your partner to make you happy. It is not their resp=
onsibility. Figure out as individuals what makes you happy as an individual=
be happy yourself then you each bring that to the relationship. Mandy A=
lot is made about sacrifices in a relationship. You are supposed to keep=
the relationship happy by consistently
