[1916] in bugtraq
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daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Karl Strickland)
Mon May 29 22:17:56 1995
Date: Mon, 29 May 1995 18:25:42 +0100
From: Karl Strickland <karl@bagpuss.demon.co.uk>
To: bugtraq@fc.net
Blonde Jokes
How do you drive a blonde crazy?
--Hide her hairbrush.
Why do you take ablonde shopping with you?
--So you can park in the handicapped spaces.
Why does a blonde wear panties?
--To keep her ankles warm.
How does a blond turn on the lights after having sex?
--Opens the car door.
What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
--An interpreter.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
--Artificial intelligence.
What is the difference between a blond and a 747?
--Not everyone has been in a 747.
Why did the blonde have a bruised belly-button?
--Her boyfrind was blonde too.
How do you give a blonde more headroom?
--Adjust the steering wheel.
How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
--Wave.
How did the blonde get hurt raking leaves?
--She fell out of the tree
How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle?
--Shine a flashlight in her ear.
What did the blonde say after her boyfriend blew in her ear?
--Thanks for the refill.
What do you call 10 blondes standing side by side?
--A wind tunnel.
What do you call a circle of blondes?
--A dope ring.
How do you drown a blond?
--Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
--Put a mirror on the bottom of the pool.
What do blondes put behind their ears to attract men?
--Their ankles.
What goes VROOM! SCREECH! VROOM! SCREECH! VROOM!
--A blond at a flashing red light.
What is the difference between a pregnant blonde and a lightbulb?
--You can unscrew a lightbulb.
What does a blonde say when she finds out she's pregnant?
--Gee, I hope it's mine.
What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
--You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
--You can't get a blonde in a bowling ball.
What does a blond say when she opens a box of Cheerios?
--Look at all the doughnut seeds!
Where does a blonde wash her hair?
--In the sink...where else do you wash your vegetables?
How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday?
--Tell her a joke on Friday.
What do you do if a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
--Pull the pin and throw it back.
Why did the blonde have a hard time making Kool-Aid?
--She couldn't get all the water in the little packet.
Why couldn't the blond make ice-cubes?
--She didn't have the recipe.
What is a blonde's mating call?
--I'm soooo drunk!
What is the brunette's mating call?
--Have the blondes left yet?
Why don't blondes like to wear hoop earrings?
--Their high heels keep getting caught in them
What do you have when there are three blondes in a corner?
--An air pocket.
How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer?
--There's white-out all over the screen.
What do you call a virgin blonde?
--A newborn
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
--They're both empty from the neck up.
Why don't they give blondes coffee breaks?
--It's such a pain to re-train them afterward.
If a blonde and a brunette fell from a building at the same time, who would hit
the ground first?
--The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.
How do a blonde's brain cells die?
--Alone.
Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
--To see what was on the other side.
What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
--The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
What do blondes and turtles have in common?
--Once they're on their backs they're screwed.
What's the other difference between a blonde and a 747?
--A 747 only goes down occasionally.
What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
--Rebel without a clue
How do you know when a blonde is having her period?
--Whe can't find her pencil and her tampon is behind her ear.
Why did the blonde have a square chest?
--She didn't realize that she was supposed to take the kleenex out the box.
Did you hear about the blond who lost 85% of her brains?
--Her husband died.
Why can't blonde's fart?
--They don't shut up long enough to build up the pressure.
What does a blonde say in the morning?
--Who ARE you guys?
What did the blonde say after having sex?
--So, are you guys all on the same team?
What do you call a dozen blondes in the freezer?
--Frosted Flakes.
How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
--13. 1 to make the batter, and 12 to peel the m&m's.
Why do bondes drive BMW's?
--Because they can spell it.
What do a group of blondes have in common?
--Nothing they can think of.
Why did the blonde get 17 other people together to see a movie?
--Because 'under 18' was prohibited.
Why do blondes poof their hair so high?
--To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Why was the blonde happy when she finished the puzzle in a week?
--The box said '3-5 years'.
What do blondes and computers have in common?
--You don't know what you're missing until they go down.
What is the definition of gross ignorance?
--144 blondes.
What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
--Gifted.
What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
--People have seen UFO's.
Why did the blonde get fired from her job at the m&m factory?
--She kept throwing away all the w's.
What is the difference between a circus and a group of blondes?
--A circus is a cunning array of stunts.
What do you call the skeleton of a blonde found in a closet?
--The winner of a hide and seek game.
How do you confuse a blonde?
--Tell her to alphebetize m&m's.
What do a blonde and a bowling ball have in common?
--You can throw them in the gutter and they'll come right back to you.
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Source--Unknown
