[63] in libertarians
New Element Found!
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Vernon Imrich)
Fri Jul 8 17:21:59 1994
Date: Fri, 8 Jul 94 17:18:17 -0400
From: vimrich@flying-cloud.mit.edu (Vernon Imrich)
To: libertarians@MIT.EDU
-a fwd-
PRODIGY(R) interactive personal service 07/03/94 8:51 PM
SCIENCE & ENVIRON
TOPIC: ASTRONOMY
TIME: 07/03 8:40 PM
TO: ALL
FROM: BRUCE CHANDLER (ANAH89A)
SUBJECT: NEW ELEMENT FOUND
The SETI community is frantically re-writing their spectral
analysis protocols to include detection of a newly
discovered element. If this new element, which is abundant
on Earth, is found anywhere else in the universe, it would
be PROOF-POSITIVE that life exists where the element is
found. More importantly, it would indicate that Homo sapien
-type life was present. Here are the details about the new
element:
NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED
The heaviest element known to science was recently
discovered at the Watson Research Centre.
The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no
protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of zero.
However, it does have one neutron, 75 vice-neutrons, 125
assistant neutrons and 111 assistant vice-neutrons. This
gives an atomic weight of 312. These 312 particles are held
together in a nucleus by a force that involves the
continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.
Administratium has a normal half-life of about 3 years, at
which time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a
reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice-neutrons
and assistant vice-neutrons exchange places. Some studies
have already shown that atomic weight actually increases
after each reorganization.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert.
However, it can be detected chemically, as it impedes every
reaction with which it comes into contact. According to the
discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium caused one
reaction to take over 4 days to complete, when it normally
would occur in less than a second.
Research at other laboratories indicates that
Administratium occurs naturally and tends to concentrate at
points such as government, large organizations and
universities. Scientists point out that it is known to be
toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy
any productive reaction where it is allowed to accumulate.
Attempts are being made to determine how Administratium can
be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results
are not promising.
[This article is reprinted from the newsletter of the
Institution of Radio and Electronic Engineers in Australia.]
Footnote: IF this element is discovered in the vast reaches
of our universe, it would seem to indicate that the
associated life-form(s) are not, unfortunately, superior to
Homo sapien.
