[35] in Information Retrieval
Check Disclaimer for Software Purchases - rec.humor.funny #2903
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (rcharbon@Athena.MIT.EDU)
Fri Nov 29 09:00:31 1991
From: rcharbon@Athena.MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 29 Nov 91 08:58:56 -0500
To: elibdev@Athena.MIT.EDU
In article <S342.1166@looking.on.ca>, lc2b+@andrew.cmu.edu (Lawrence Curcio) writes:
|> This was circulated in and augmented by an MOIS class a few years
|> back.
|>
|> Disclaimer to be used when purchasing software:
|>
|>
|> AGREEMENT AND LIMITED WARRANTY
|>
|> This check is fully warranted against physical defects and poor
|> workmanship in its stationery. If the check is physically damaged,
|> return it to me and I will replace or repair it at my discretion.
|> No other warranty of any kind is made, neither express nor implied
|> including, but not limited to, the implied warranties of
|> Merchantability, Suitability for Purpose, and Validity of Currency.
|> Any and all risk concerning the actual value of this check is
|> assumed by you, the recipient. Even though I or my agents may have
|> assured you of its worth, either verbally or in written
|> communication, we may have had our fingers crossed, so don't come
|> whimpering back to me if it bounces.
|>
|> The money, if any, represented by this instrument remains my
|> property. You are licensed to use it, however you are not allowed
|> to copy the original check except for your personal records, nor
|> are you permitted to give the money itself to anyone else. Neither
|> may you allow any other person to use the money. Remember, you may
|> have it in your possession, but it still belongs to me, and I'm
|> going to call on you from time to time just to keep tabs on it.
|>
|> This agreement supersedes all others between us, including the
|> equally ridiculous one you have undoubtedly pasted on the back of
|> your packaging, or concealed somewhere in the middle of it. The
|> location of your version of this or any other covenant between us
|> is irrelevant to its inapplicability here. Only this one pertains,
|> and I really mean it. In fact, this one supersedes yours even
|> though yours may say that it supersedes mine. Why, even if yours
|> said it would supersede mine even if mine said it would supersede
|> yours even if yours said... Oh well. You get the idea.
|>
|> You may decline this agreement by returning the uncashed check to
|> me within twenty-four hours. If you attempt to cash it, however,
|> you have implicitly accepted these terms. You may also implicitly
|> accept these terms by:
|>
|> 1) Calling my bank to inquire about the status of my account;
|>
|> 2) Thanking me at the conclusion of our business transaction;
|>
|> 3) Going to bed at the end of this or any other day; or
|>
|> 4) Using any toilet or rest room.
|>
|> Please be advised that I have adopted a strict rubber-glue policy.
|> Any nasty thing that your lawyers say bounces off of me and sticks
|> back to you. Be further advised that you agree to pay my legal
|> expenses if I decide to sue you for violating this agreement or for
|> any other reason that might strike my fancy. Violations will be
|> punishable by fine, imprisonment, death, any two of the above, or
|> all three.
|>
|> Thank you and have a nice day!
|> --
|> Selected by Brad Templeton. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com.
|> Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
|>
|> Remember: Only ONE joke per submission. Extra jokes may be rejected.
|> RHF is on submission hiatus. No submissions until otherwise notified, please!
--
Ray Charbonneau | I feel so inar-inar-inar-inar tic-u-late
rcharbon@athena.mit.edu | -- Roger Taylor (Queen)
MIT and the Library Systems Office are glad that I'm posting my opinions
here so that they don't have to listen to them anymore.
