[11841] in Commercialization & Privatization of the Internet
CompuGov Deal Goes Through
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (David Rothman)
Thu Apr 21 20:40:20 1994
Date: Thu, 21 Apr 94 14:57:10 -0400
To: "com-priv" <com-priv@psi.com>
From: "David Rothman" <rothman@netcom.com>
Reply-To: rothman@netcom.com
WASHINGTON-The federal government was sold today to CompuGov, a
high-tech consortium that includes IBM, Microsoft, AT&T, Northern
Telecom, Sony and several other corporate giants in Europe and Japan.
"It's the ultimate vindication of the Free Market philosophy," said a
high-ranking Administration official. "This deal is the logical
extension of lessons from the computer and telecommunications
industries. What's government but the processing and transmission of
information?"
Effective immediately, the popular vote was ended at the federal level.
Instead Americans will be able to buy Stakeholder Shares. Those with
sufficient numbers of Shares may attend CompuGov board meetings in
Tokyo. Members of Congress each received 10,000 Stakeholder Shares and
Golden Parachute protection--in addition to extra Shares reflecting the
sizes of past campaign donations from Political Action Committees run by
CompuGov members.
CompuGov announced the spin-off of most nondefense assets and the
dismissal of 75 percent of the federal workforce. Tennessee entrepreneur
Chris Whittle will buy the Department of Education, for example, while
Humana will purchase the Department of Health and Human Services.
"We regret the need for downsizing," a CompuGov spokesperson said, "but
education and health have been lacking as profit centers. "They just are
not part of our corporate mission. Our role is simply to protect our
customers against force and fraud."
Asked about the pending spin-off of the Securities and Exchange
Commission to New York businessman John Gotti, the spokesperson said:
"We must always be open to the wisdom of the Free Market. If Mr. Gotti
can make the SEC more responsive to the needs of business, I see no
reason why we could not also sell him the Justice Department."
Final negotiations are continuing between CompuGov and the individual
states, with deals expected shortly. Only Massachusetts is balking.
"The consensus is that the Free Enterprise system is best," said the
CompuGov spokesperson. "America's big mistake was in simply trying to
get government out of the economy. The best solution is to get
government out of government."
- 30 -
[Hey, it's still April.]
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