[87896] in Discussion of MIT-community interests
800 Blinding Lumens of Light at Your Fingertips!
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Aileen Wynonna)
Thu Sep 1 11:59:04 2016
Date: Thu, 1 Sep 2016 11:46:50 -0400
From: "Aileen Wynonna" <aileen-wynonna@moreso.stream>
To: <mit-talk-mtg@charon.mit.edu>
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<p>800 Blinding Lumens of Light at Your Fingertips!<br /> I AM come of a=
race noted for vigor of fancy and ardor of passion. Men have called me mad=
; but the question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the lof=
tiest intelligence -- whether much that is glorious- whether all that is pr=
ofound -- does not spring from disease of thought -- from moods of mind exa=
lted at the expense of the general intellect. They who dream by day are cog=
nizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. In their =
gray visions they obtain glimpses of eternity, and thrill, in awakening, to=
find that they have been upon the verge of the great secret. In snatches, =
they learn something of the wisdom which is of good, and more of the mere k=
nowledge which is of evil. They penetrate, however, rudderless or compassle=
ss into the vast ocean of the " light ineffable," and again, like=
the adventures of the Nubian geographer, " agressi sunt mare tenebrar=
um, quid in eo esset exploraturi." We will say, then, that I am mad. I=
grant, at least, that there are two distinct conditions of my mental exist=
ence -- the condition of a lucid reason, not to be disputed, and belonging =
to the memory of events forming the first epoch of my life -- and a conditi=
on of shadow and doubt, appertaining to the present, and to the recollectio=
n of what constitutes the second great era of my being. Therefore, what I s=
hall tell of the earlier period, believe; and to what I may relate of the l=
ater time, give only such credit as may seem due, or doubt it altogether, o=
r, if doubt it ye cannot, then play unto its riddle the Oedipus. She whom I=
loved in youth, and of whom I now pen calmly and distinctly these remembra=
nces, was the sole daughter of the only sister of my mother long departed. =
Eleonora was the name of my cousin. We had always dwelled together, beneath=
a tropical sun, in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass. No unguided foots=
tep ever came upon that vale; for it lay away up among a range of giant hil=
ls that hung beetling around about it, shutting out the sunlight from its s=
weetest recesses. No path was trodden in its vicinity; and, to reach our ha=
ppy home, there was need of putting back, with force, the foliage of many t=
housands of forest trees, and of crushing to death the glories of many mill=
ions of fragrant flowers. Thus it was that we lived all alone, knowing noth=
ing of the world without the valley -- I, and my cousin, and her mother. Fr=
om the dim regions beyond the mountains at the upper end of our encircled d=
omain, there crept out a narrow and deep river, brighter than all save the =
eyes of Eleonora; and, winding stealthily about in mazy courses, it passed =
away, at length, through a shadowy gorge, among hills still dimmer than tho=
se whence it had issued. We called it the " River of Silence" ; f=
or there seemed to be a hushing influence in its flow. No murmur arose from=
its bed, and so gently it wandered along, that the pearly pebbles upon whi=
ch we loved to gaze, far down within its bosom, stirred not at all, but lay=
in a motionless content, each in its own old station, shining on gloriousl=
y forever. The margin of the river, and of the many dazzling rivulets that =
glided through devious ways into its channel, as well as the spaces that ex=
tended from the margins away down into the depths of the streams until they=
reached the bed of pebbles at the bottom, -- these spots, not less than th=
e whole surface of the valley, from the river to the mountains that girdled=
it in, were carpeted all by a soft green grass, thick, short, perfectly ev=
en, and vanilla-perfumed, but so besprinkled throughout with the yellow but=
tercup, the white daisy, the purple violet, and the ruby-red asphodel, that=
its exceeding beauty spoke to our hearts in loud tones, of the love and of=
the glory of God. And, here and there, in groves about this grass, like wi=
ldernesses of dreams, sprang up fantastic trees, whose tall slender stems s=
tood not upright, but slanted gracefully toward the light that peered at no=
on-day into the centre of the valley. Their mark was speckled with the vivi=
d alternate splendor of ebony and silver, and was smoother than all save th=
e cheeks of Eleonora; so that, but for the brilliant green of the huge leav=
es that spread from their summits in long, tremulous lines, dallying with t=
he Zephyrs, one might have fancied them giant serpents of Syria doing homag=
e to their sovereign the Sun. Hand in hand about this valley, for fifteen y=
ears, roamed I with Eleonora before Love entered within our hearts. It was =
one evening at the close of the third lustrum of her life, and of the fourt=
h of my own, that we sat, locked in each other' s embrace, beneath the serp=
ent-like trees, and looked down within the water of the River of Silence at=
our images therein. We spoke no words during the rest of that sweet day, a=
nd our words even upon the morrow were tremulous and few. We had drawn the =
God Eros from that wave, and now we felt that he had enkindled within us th=
e fiery souls of our forefathers. The passions which had for centuries dist=
inguished our race, came thronging with the fancies for which they had been=
equally noted, and together breathed a delirious bliss over the Valley of =
the Many-Colored Grass. A change fell upon all things. Strange, brilliant f=
lowers, star-shaped, burn out upon the trees where no flowers had been know=
n before. The tints of the green carpet deepened; and when, one by one, the=
white daisies shrank away, there sprang up in place of them, ten by ten of=
the ruby-red asphodel. And life arose in our paths; for the tall flamingo,=
hitherto unseen, with all gay glowing birds, flaunted his scarlet plumage =
before us. The golden and silver fish haunted the river, out of the bosom o=
f which issued, little by little, a murmur that swelled, at length, into a =
lulling melody more divine than that of the harp of Aeolus-sweeter than all=
save the voice of Eleonora. And now, too, a voluminous cloud, which we had=
long watched in the regions of Hesper, floated out thence, all gorgeous in=
crimson and gold, and settling in peace above us, sank, day by day, lower =
and lower, until its edges rested upon the tops of the mountains, turning a=
ll their dimness into magnificence, and shutting us up, as if forever, with=
in a magic prison-house of grandeur and of glory. The loveliness of Eleonor=
a was that of the Seraphim; but she was a maiden artless and innocent as th=
e brief life she had led among the flowers. No guile disguised the fervor o=
f love which animated her heart, and she examined with me its inmost recess=
es as we walked together in the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass, and disco=
ursed of the mighty changes which had lately taken place therein. At length=
, having spoken one day, in tears, of the last sad change which must befall=
Humanity, she thenceforward dwelt only upon this one sorrowful theme, inte=
rweaving it into all our converse, as, in the songs of the bard of Schiraz,=
the same images are found occurring, again and again, in every impressive =
variation of phrase. She had seen that the finger of Death was upon her bos=
om -- that, like the ephemeron, she had been made perfect in loveliness onl=
y to die; but the terrors of the grave to her lay solely in a consideration=
which she revealed to me, one evening at twilight, by the banks of the Riv=
er of Silence. She grieved to think that, having entombed her in the Valley=
of the Many-Colored Grass, I would quit forever its happy recesses, transf=
erring the love which now was so passionately her own to some maiden of the=
outer and everyday world. And, then and there, I threw myself hurriedly at=
the feet of Eleonora, and offered up a vow, to herself and to Heaven, that=
I would never bind myself in marriage to any daughter of Earth -- that I w=
ould in no manner prove recreant to her dear memory, or to the memory of th=
e devout affection with which she had blessed me. And I called the Mighty R=
uler of the Universe to witness the pious solemnity of my vow. And the curs=
e which I invoked of Him and of her, a saint in Helusion should I prove tra=
itorous to that promise, involved a penalty the exceeding great horror of w=
hich will not permit me to make record of it here. And the bright eyes of E=
leonora grew brighter at my words; and she sighed as if a deadly burthen ha=
d been taken from her breast; and she trembled and very bitterly wept; but =
she made acceptance of the vow, (for what was she but a child?) and it made=
easy to her the bed of her death. And she said to me, not many days afterw=
ard, tranquilly dying, that, because of what I had done for the comfort of =
her spirit she would watch over me in that spirit when departed, and, if so=
it were permitted her return to me visibly in the watches of the night; bu=
t, if this thing were, indeed, beyond the power of the souls in Paradise, t=
hat she would, at least, give me frequent indications of her presence, sigh=
ing upon me in the evening winds, or filling the air which I breathed with =
perfume from the censers of the angels. And, with these words upon her lips=
, she yielded up her innocent life, putting an end to the first epoch of my=
own. Thus far I have faithfully said. But as I pass the barrier in Times p=
ath, formed by the death of my beloved, and proceed with the second era of =
my existence, I feel that a shadow gathers over my brain, and I mistrust th=
e perfect sanity of the record. But let me on. -- Years dragged themselves =
along heavily, and still I dwelled within the Valley of the Many-Colored Gr=
ass; but a second change had come upon all things. The star-shaped flowers =
shrank into the stems of the trees, and appeared no more. The tints of the =
green carpet faded; and, one by one, the ruby-red asphodels withered away; =
and there sprang up, in place of them, ten by ten, dark, eye-like violets, =
that writhed uneasily and were ever encumbered with dew. And Life departed =
from our paths; for the tall flamingo flaunted no longer his scarlet plumag=
e before us, but flew sadly from the vale into the hills, with all the gay =
glowing birds that had arrived in his company. And the golden and silver fi=
sh swam down through the gorge at the lower end of our domain and bedecked =
the sweet river never again. And the lulling melody that had been softer th=
an the wind-harp of Aeolus, and more divine than all save the voice of Eleo=
nora, it died little by little away, in murmurs growing lower and lower, un=
til the stream returned, at length, utterly, into the solemnity of its orig=
inal silence. And then, lastly, the voluminous cloud uprose, and, abandonin=
g the tops of the mountains to the dimness of old, fell back into the regio=
ns of Hesper, and took away all its manifold golden and gorgeous glories fr=
om the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass. Yet the promises of Eleonora were =
not forgotten; for I heard the sounds of the swinging of the censers of the=
angels; and streams of a holy perfume floated ever and ever about the vall=
ey; and at lone hours, when my heart beat heavily, the winds that bathed my=
brow came unto me laden with soft sighs; and indistinct murmurs filled oft=
en the night air, and once -- oh, but once only! I was awakened from a slum=
ber, like the slumber of death, by the pressing of spiritual lips upon my o=
wn. But the void within my heart refused, even thus, to be filled. I longed=
for the love which had before filled it to overflowing. At length the vall=
ey pained me through its memories of Eleonora, and I left it for ever for t=
he vanities and the turbulent triumphs of the world. I found myself within =
a strange city, where all things might have served to blot from recollectio=
n the sweet dreams I had dreamed so long in the Valley of the Many-Colored =
Grass. The pomps and pageantries of a stately court, and the mad clangor of=
arms, and the radiant loveliness of women, bewildered and intoxicated my b=
rain. But as yet my soul had proved true to its vows, and the indications o=
f the presence of Eleonora were still given me in the silent hours of the n=
ight. Suddenly these manifestations they ceased, and the world grew dark be=
fore mine eyes, and I stood aghast at the burning thoughts which possessed,=
at the terrible temptations which beset me; for there came from some far, =
far distant and unknown land, into the gay court of the king I served, a ma=
iden to whose beauty my whole recreant heart yielded at once -- at whose fo=
otstool I bowed down without a struggle, in the most ardent, in the most ab=
ject worship of love. What, indeed, was my passion for the young girl of th=
e valley in comparison with the fervor, and the delirium, and the spirit-li=
fting ecstasy of adoration with which I poured out my whole soul in tears a=
t the feet of the ethereal Ermengarde? -- Oh, bright was the seraph Ermenga=
rde! and in that knowledge I had room for none other. -- Oh, divine was the=
angel Ermengarde! and as I looked down into the depths of her memorial eye=
s, I thought only of them -- and of her. I wedded; -- nor dreaded the curse=
I had invoked; and its bitterness was not visited upon me. And once -- but=
once again in the silence of the night; there came through my lattice the =
soft sighs which had forsaken me; and they modelled themselves into familia=
r and sweet voice, saying: " Sleep in peace! -- for the Spirit of Love=
reigneth and ruleth, and, in taking to thy passionate heart her who is Erm=
engarde, thou art absolved, for reasons which shall be made known to thee i=
n Heaven, of thy vows unto Eleonora." </p>=20
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