[86449] in Discussion of MIT-community interests
Never Pay Full Price for Printer Ink Again!
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Printer Ink)
Tue Aug 9 18:58:40 2016
Date: Tue, 9 Aug 2016 18:52:19 -0400
From: "Printer Ink" <printer_ink@gdmri.com>
To: <mit-talk-mtg@charon.mit.edu>
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<title>Never Pay Full Price for Printer Ink Again!</title>=20
<h1>Never Pay Full Price for Printer Ink Again!</h1>=20
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<p>lore did the Countess' s heart incline, and joyfully did she start up=
from the listless task of turning over the leaves of the pamphlets, and ha=
stily did she scatter them through the floor, when the hasty clatter of hor=
ses' feet, heard in the courtyard, called her to the window, exclaiming, &q=
uot; It is Leicester!--it is my noble Earl!--it is my Dudley!--every stroke=
of his horse' s hoof sounds like a note of lordly music!" There was a=
brief bustle in the mansion, and Foster, with his downward look and sullen=
manner, entered the apartment to say, " That Master Richard Varney wa=
s arrived from my lord, having ridden all night, and craved to speak with h=
er ladyship instantly." " Varney?" said the disappointed Cou=
ntess; " and to speak with me? --pshaw! But he comes with news from Le=
icester, so admit him instantly." Varney entered her dressing apartmen=
t, where she sat arrayed in her native loveliness, adorned with all that Ja=
net' s art and a rich and tasteful undress could bestow. But the most beaut=
iful part of her attire was her profuse and luxuriant light-brown locks, wh=
ich floated in such rich abundance around a neck that resembled a swan' s, =
and over a bosom heaving with anxious expectation, which communicated a hur=
ried tinge of red to her whole countenance. Varney entered the room in the =
dress in which he had waited on his master that morning to court, the splen=
dour of which made a strange contrast with the disorder arising from hasty =
riding during a dark night and foul ways. His brow bore an anxious and hurr=
ied expression, as one who has that to say of which he doubts the reception=
, and who hath yet posted on from the necessity of communicating his tiding=
s. The Countess' s anxious eye at once caught the alarm, as she exclaimed, =
" You bring news from my lord, Master Varney--Gracious Heaven! is he i=
ll?" " No, madam, thank Heaven!" said Varney. " Compose=
yourself, and permit me to take breath ere I communicate my tidings."=
" No breath, sir," replied the lady impatiently; " I know y=
our theatrical arts. Since your breath hath sufficed to bring you hither, i=
t may suffice to tell your tale--at least briefly, and in the gross." =
" Madam," answered Varney, " we are not alone, and my lord' =
s message was for your ear only." " Leave us, Janet, and Master F=
oster," said the lady; " but remain in the next apartment, and wi=
thin call." Foster and his daughter retired, agreeably to the Lady Lei=
cester' s commands, into the next apartment, which was the withdrawing-room=
The door which led from the sleeping-chamber was then carefully shut and =
bolted, and the father and daughter remained both in a posture of anxious a=
ttention, the first with a stern, suspicious, anxious cast of countenance, =
and Janet with folded hands, and looks which seemed divided betwixt her des=
ire to know the fortunes of her mistress, and her prayers to Heaven for her=
safety. Anthony Foster seemed himself to have some idea of what was passin=
g through his daughter' s mind, for he crossed the apartment and took her a=
nxiously by the hand, saying, " That is right--pray, Janet, pray; we h=
ave all need of prayers, and some of us more than others. Pray, Janet--I wo=
uld pray myself, but I must listen to what goes on within--evil has been br=
ewing, love--evil has been brewing. God forgive our sins, but Varney' s sud=
den and strange arrival bodes us no good." Janet had never before hear=
d her father excite or even permit her attention to anything which passed i=
n their mysterious family; and now that he did so, his voice sounded in her=
ear--she knew not why--like that of a screech-owl denouncing some deed of =
terror and of woe. She turned her eyes fearfully towards the door, almost a=
s if she expected some sounds of horror to be heard, or some sight of fear =
to display itself. All, however, was as still as death, and the voices of t=
hose who spoke in the inner chamber were, if they spoke at all, carefully s=
ubdued to a tone which could not be heard in the next. At once, however, th=
ey were heard to speak fast, thick, and hastily; and presently after the vo=
ice of the Countess was heard exclaiming, at the highest pitch to which ind=
ignation could raise it, " Undo the door, sir, I command you!--undo th=
e door!--I will have no other reply!" she continued, drowning with her=
vehement accents the low and muttered sounds which Varney was heard to utt=
er betwixt whiles. " What ho! without there!" she persisted, acco=
mpanying her words with shrieks, " Janet, alarm the house!-- Foster, b=
reak open the door--I am detained here by a traitor! Use axe and lever, Mas=
ter Foster--I will be your warrant!" " It shall not need, madam,&=
quot; Varney was at length distinctly heard to say. " If you please to=
expose my lord' s important concerns and your own to the general ear, I wi=
ll not be your hindrance." The door was unlocked and thrown open, and =
Janet and her father rushed in, anxious to learn the cause of these reitera=
ted exclamations. When they entered the apartment Varney stood by the door =
grinding his teeth, with an expression in which rage, and shame, and fear h=
ad each their share. The Countess stood in the midst of her apartment like =
a juvenile Pythoness under the influence of the prophetic fury. The veins i=
n her beautiful forehead started into swoln blue lines through the hurried =
impulse of her articulation --her cheek and neck glowed like scarlet--her e=
yes were like those of an imprisoned eagle, flashing red lightning on the f=
oes which it cannot reach with its talons. Were it possible for one of the =
Graces to have been animated by a Fury, the countenance could not have unit=
ed such beauty with so much hatred, scorn, defiance, and resentment. The ge=
sture and attitude corresponded with the voice and looks, and altogether pr=
esented a spectacle which was at once beautiful and fearful; so much of the=
sublime had the energy of passion united with the Countess Amy' s natural =
loveliness. Janet, as soon as the door was open, ran to her mistress; and m=
ore slowly, yet with more haste than he was wont, Anthony Foster went to Ri=
chard Varney. " In the Truth' s name, what ails your ladyship?" s=
aid the former. " What, in the name of Satan, have you done to her?&qu=
ot; said Foster to his friend. " Who, I?--nothing," answered Varn=
ey, but with sunken head and sullen voice; " nothing but communicated =
to her her lord' s commands, which, if the lady list not to obey, she knows=
better how to answer it than I may pretend to do." " Now, by Hea=
ven, Janet!" said the Countess, " the false traitor lies in his t=
hroat! He must needs lie, for he speaks to the dishonour of my noble lord; =
he must needs lie doubly, for he speaks to gain ends of his own, equally ex=
ecrable and unattainable." " You have misapprehended me, lady,&qu=
ot; said Varney, with a sulky species of submission and apology; " let=
this matter rest till your passion be abated, and I will explain all."=
; " Thou shalt never have an opportunity to do so," said the Coun=
tess.--" Look at him, Janet. He is fairly dressed, hath the outside of=
a gentleman, and hither he came to persuade me it was my lord' s pleasure-=
-nay, more, my wedded lord' s commands--that I should go with him to Kenilw=
orth, and before the Queen and nobles, and in presence of my own wedded lor=
d, that I should acknowledge him--HIM there--that very cloak-brushing, shoe=
- cleaning fellow--HIM there, my lord' s lackey, for my liege lord and husb=
and; furnishing against myself, Great God! whenever I was to vindicate my r=
ight and my rank, such weapons as would hew my just claim from the root, an=
d destroy my character to be regarded as an honourable matron of the Englis=
h nobility!" " You hear her, Foster, and you, young maiden, hear =
this lady," answered Varney, taking advantage of the pause which the C=
ountess had made in her charge, more for lack of breath than for lack of ma=
tter--" you hear that her heat only objects to me the course which our=
good lord, for the purpose to keep certain matters secret, suggests in the=
very letter which she holds in her hands." Foster here attempted to i=
nterfere with a face of authority, which he thought became the charge entru=
sted to him, " Nay, lady, I must needs say you are over-hasty in this.=
Such deceit is not utterly to be condemned when practised for a righteous =
end I and thus even the patriarch Abraham feigned Sarah to be his sister wh=
en they went down to Egypt." " Ay, sir," answered the Counte=
ss; " but God rebuked that deceit even in the father of His chosen peo=
ple, by the mouth of the heathen Pharaoh. Out upon you, that will read Scri=
pture only to copy those things which are held out to us as warnings, not a=
s examples!" " But Sarah disputed not the will of her husband, an=
it be your pleasure," said Foster, in reply, " but did as Abraha=
m commanded, calling herself his sister, that it might be well with her hus=
band for her sake, and that his soul might live because of her beauty."=
; " Now, so Heaven pardon me my useless anger," answered the Coun=
tess, " thou art as daring a hypocrite as yonder fellow is an impudent=
deceiver! Never will I believe that the noble Dudley gave countenance to s=
o dastardly, so dishonourable a plan. Thus I tread on his infamy, if indeed=
it be, and thus destroy its remembrance for ever!" So saying, she tor=
e in pieces Leicester' s letter, and stamped, in the extremity of impatienc=
e, as if she would have annihilated the minute fragments into which she had=
rent it. " Bear witness," said Varney, collecting himself, "=
; she hath torn my lord' s letter, in order to burden me with the scheme of=
his devising; and although it promises nought but danger and trouble to me=
, she would lay it to my charge, as if I had any purpose of mine own in it.=
" " Thou liest, thou treacherous slave!" said the Countess i=
n spite of Janet' s attempts to keep her silent, in the sad foresight that =
her vehemence might only furnish arms against herself--" thou liest,&q=
uot; she continued.--" Let me go, Janet--were it the last word I have =
to speak, he lies. He had his own foul ends to seek; and broader he would h=
ave displayed them had my passion permitted me to preserve the silence whic=
h at first encouraged him to unfold his vile projects." " Madam,&=
quot; said Varney, overwhelmed in spite of his effrontery, " I entreat=
you to believe yourself mistaken." " As soon will I believe ligh=
t darkness," said the enraged Countess. " Have I drunk of oblivio=
n? Do I not remember former passages, which, known to Leicester, had given =
thee the preferment of a gallows, instead of the honour of his intimacy. I =
would I were a man but for five minutes! It were space enough to make a cra=
ven like thee confess his villainy. But go--begone! Tell thy master that wh=
en I take the foul course to which such scandalous deceits as thou hast rec=
ommended on his behalf must necessarily lead me, I will give him a rival so=
mething worthy of the name. He shall not be supplanted by an ignominious la=
ckey, whose best fortune is to catch a gift of his master' s last suit of c=
lothes ere it is threadbare, and who is only fit to seduce a suburb-wench b=
y the bravery of new roses in his master' s old pantoufles. Go, begone, sir=
! I scorn thee so much that I am ashamed to have been angry with thee."=
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