[86000] in Discussion of MIT-community interests
Tactical LED Flashlight
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Shadowhawk Flashlights)
Wed Aug 3 14:13:13 2016
Date: Wed, 3 Aug 2016 14:02:33 -0400
From: "Shadowhawk Flashlights" <shadowhawk_flashlights@digitreso.com>
To: <mit-talk-mtg@charon.mit.edu>
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<title>Tactical LED Flashlight</title>=20
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<p>Tactical LED Flashlight<br /> Justice-of-the-Peace Benaja Widdup sat =
in the door of his office smoking his elder-stem pipe. Half-way to the zeni=
th the Cumberland range rose blue-gray in the afternoon haze. A speckled he=
n swaggered down the main street of the "settlement," cackling fo=
olishly. Up the road came a sound of creaking axles, and then a slow cloud =
of dust, and then a bull-cart bearing Ransie Bilbro and his wife. The cart =
stopped at the Justice's door, and the two climbed down. Ransie was a narro=
w six feet of sallow brown skin and yellow hair. The imperturbability of th=
e mountains hung upon him like a suit of armour. The woman was calicoed, an=
gled, snuff-brushed, and weary with unknown desires. Through it all gleamed=
a faint protest of cheated youth unconscious of its loss. The Justice of t=
he Peace slipped his feet into his shoes, for the sake of dignity, and move=
d to let them enter. "We-all," said the woman, in a voice like th=
e wind blowing through pine boughs, "wants a divo'ce." She looked=
at Ransie to see if he noted any flaw or ambiguity or evasion or partialit=
y or self-partisanship in her statement of their business. "A divo'ce,=
" repeated Ransie, with a solemn nod. "We-all can't git along tog=
ether nohow. It's lonesome enough fur to live in the mount'ins when a man a=
nd a woman keers fur one another. But when she's a-spittin' like a wildcat =
or a-sullenin' like a hoot-owl in the cabin, a man ain't got no call to liv=
e with her." "When he's a no-'count varmint," said the woman=
, "without any especial warmth, a-traipsin' along of scalawags and moo=
nshiners and a-layin' on his back pizen 'ith co'n whiskey, and a-pesterin' =
folks with a pack o' hungry, triflin' houn's to feed!" "When she =
keeps a-throwin' skillet lids," came Ransie's antiphony, "and sli=
ngs b'ilin' water on the best coon-dog in the Cumberlands, and sets herself=
agin' cookin' a man's victuals, and keeps him awake o' nights accusin' him=
of a sight of doin's!" "When he's al'ays a-fightin' the revenues=
, and gits a hard name in the mount'ins fur a mean man, who's gwine to be a=
ble fur to sleep o' nights?" The Justice of the Peace stirred delibera=
tely to his duties. He placed his one chair and a wooden stool for his peti=
tioners. He opened his book of statutes on the table and scanned the index.=
Presently he wiped his spectacles and shifted his inkstand. "The law =
and the statutes," said he, "air silent on the subjeck of divo'ce=
as fur as the jurisdiction of this co't air concerned. But, accordin' to e=
quity and the Constitution and the golden rule, it's a bad barg'in that can=
't run both ways. If a justice of the peace can marry a couple, it's plain =
that he is bound to be able to divo'ce 'em. This here office will issue a d=
ecree of divo'ce and abide by the decision of the Supreme Co't to hold it g=
ood." Ransie Bilbro drew a small tobacco-bag from his trousers pocket.=
Out of this he shook upon the table a five-dollar note. "Sold a b'ars=
kin and two foxes fur that," he remarked. "It's all the money we =
got." "The regular price of a divo'ce in this co't," said th=
e Justice, "air five dollars." He stuffed the bill into the pocke=
t of his homespun vest with a deceptive air of indifference. With much bodi=
ly toil and mental travail he wrote the decree upon half a sheet of foolsca=
p, and then copied it upon the other. Ransie Bilbro and his wife listened t=
o his reading of the document that was to give them freedom: "Know all=
men by these presents that Ransie Bilbro and his wife, Ariela Bilbro, this=
day personally appeared before me and promises that hereinafter they will =
neither love, honour, nor obey each other, neither for better nor worse, be=
ing of sound mind and body, and accept summons for divorce according to the=
peace and dignity of the State. Herein fail not, so help you God. Benaja W=
iddup, justice of the peace in and for the county of Piedmont, State of Ten=
nessee." The Justice was about to hand one of the documents to Ransie.=
The voice of Ariela delayed the transfer. Both men looked at her. Their du=
ll masculinity was confronted by something sudden and unexpected in the wom=
an. "Judge, don't you give him that air paper yit. 'Tain't all settled=
, nohow. I got to have my rights first. I got to have my ali-money. 'Tain't=
no kind of a way to do fur a man to divo'ce his wife 'thout her havin' a c=
ent fur to do with. I'm a-layin' off to be a-goin' up to brother Ed's up on=
Hogback Mount'in. I'm bound fur to hev a pa'r of shoes and some snuff and =
things besides. Ef Rance kin affo'd a divo'ce, let him pay me ali-money.&qu=
ot; Ransie Bilbro was stricken to dumb perplexity. There had been no previo=
us hint of alimony. Women were always bringing up startling and unlooked-fo=
r issues. Justice Benaja Widdup felt that the point demanded judicial decis=
ion. The authorities were also silent on the subject of alimony. But the wo=
man's feet were bare. The trail to Hogback Mountain was steep and flinty.</=
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