[699] in Depressing_Thoughts
Shadows....
amgreene@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (amgreene@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Sat Dec 17 21:13:01 1988
Shadows of another world
Are cast across my life.
Shadows of a shroud or skein
Flit and flutter through my consciousness.
I sit alone, aside, apart.
The dark of night envelops me;
A circle forms of younger folk,
Of innocent naivete,
All laughing, dancing, playing games,
All unaware of what lies in store.
I played in that circle two years ago.
That was when the changes came,
The changes that would rock my life
And take me from my shelter firm
To rocky precipice,
Where I am higher than I ever dreamed,
But one false step could mean my doom.
I look at them, and see myself
Two years ago. How can they know
That this is what will change their lives?
I didn't know. But change has come,
And like a fickle whirlwind,
That devastates along its narrow path,
It has destoyed a part of me, and left
The rest to stand as witness to its strength.
I sit alone, aside, apart.
I watch them dance, and feel the breeze
Blowing cold across my face.
My soul picks up the breeze
And, like a flag tied at both ends,
It flutters 'gainst my spine.
But now the breeze is increasing,
My soul is drawn out by the wind.
Still tethered at both ends, but taut,
And straining hard against its bonds.
The gale now whips my soul against
The flagpole of my spine, 'til suddenly
One end breaks free, and stands straight out
Whipped to and fro by hurricane-force winds.
The other end is pulling, tugging, loosening---
Terrified, I stand and join the group.
I talk to some and try to dance with them,
But this is not my pack.
These are not my friends,
They are not me.
So slowly and regretfully I leave.
The change has changed the change, and I cannot
Return to it to see how I have changed.
Shadows of another world
Flit and flutter 'cross my cluttered mind.
A world in which I've learned to be
Everything I wish that I'd become.
But when morning comes
The light will chase away
The shadows, and will leave me
In this world.
