[4778] in Depressing_Thoughts
spring?
shabby@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (shabby@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Sat Apr 22 02:22:41 1995
I thought spring was supposed to cheer you up...
I'm just sitting here keeping my head above water, barely... keep on
thinking, "just graduate, get it over, and then..." then what? Even
if whatever job I end up in turns out to be a perfect, wonderful job,
well, I still have this empty feeling about it. And it sucks.
Whatever, at least for now it's easy to get onto autopilot and finish
off my remaining days at this place they call a school, but it's
certainly not fun.
What happened to that optimism I had at the beginning of the semester?
Where does it always end up? Certainly not in my brain, where it
generally starts out. Of course, it starts out there when the
semester is easy and it looks like things are going to finally turn
around... At this point in the semester, things actually require
work, and it's getting me down. I'm losing it, as usual.
I wish I had time to program something. Producing something actually
useful would be a good boost to my ego right now, and I think I need
it.
It's weird. I don't remember applying for the position of
loud-mouthed obnoxious dork who never knows when to take things
seriously. It just sort of happened, I guess.
