[455] in Depressing_Thoughts
being in love with your best friend
jik@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (jik@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Sun Oct 16 20:26:15 1988
Well, I'd have to agree with Laura on this one... being in love with
your best friend is definitely a bummer.
My best friend and I had a really, really serious relationship, even
though she lived on Long Island and I lived in New Jersey, until I
moved from New Jersey to Ohio. We never actually broke up, which is
probably why things got really serious really quickly when I went back
to visit her for five days over the New Year's right after I moved.
Things cooled down after that, but only because we didn't see each
other. Then, suddenly I find out on June 6, 1987, that I'm going to
be going to school at MIT in Boston, and at that point I'd known for
several months that Bonnie was going to be going to school at
Brandeis! "Rapture of raptures!" is probably a good way to describe
how I felt when I found out that we were going to be living about
twenty minutes away from each other. No more long distance phone
bills, no more plane rides just to spend a weekend, right?
Sure. Perhaps that's the way I saw it, but that is apparently not the
way she did, because she went and got involved with a guy while
staffing at a summer camp that summer. Then, three weeks into the
term at Brandeis, she was going out with a guy there, with whom she
might/might not still be going out (She's not even sure, but that's
pretty standard for her.).
So, what does all this have to do with being in love with best
friends? She's been my best friend almost since the day I met her. I
feel the same way about her that I have always felt, and the biggest
problem in my life in the past year and a half has been coping with
the fact that we're probably not going to get back together again, and
that we *might* have if I'd been at camp with her during the summer or
if I were going to Brandeis instead of MIT (You may think that's just
wishful thinking, but what makes things worse is that she's *told* me
that things might very well have been different if I'd been at camp
with her or if I were going to Brandeis. I don't know if she realizes
that hearing that just makes things worse for me.). So, what do I
normally do when I have a major problem? I talk about it with Bonnie.
How am I supposed to talk about it with Bonnie when she *is* the
problem?
Life sucks, I think.
