[4527] in Depressing_Thoughts
Re: Parents who mean well
jcb@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (jcb@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Sat Apr 23 01:11:51 1994
I understand, having planned two weddings. (Acquitted both times--but
those of you who read this meeting already know that. :-) <-- are
those things allowed in this meeting? :-) :-)
Anyway, remember that it's *your* wedding. Find a tactful way to say
"Gee mom/dad, that's a good idea but we have so many good ideas and we
can't include all of them." and say it as often as necessary.
Also remember that NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT.
You always have the option to decide not to accept guilt. You need to
make your wedding meaningful to [both of] you. A lot of parents want to
re-live their own weddings (or their ideals of what their own weddings
should have been) through their children. You have to put your foot
down (on the glass, when the time comes :-) and insist on what *you*
want. If you don't do this, you'll spend a long time wishing you had.
If you do, your parents will forgive you, unless they want to punish
themselves by driving their own children out of their lives.
Aren't the groom's parents supposed to "wear beige and shut up"?
