[413] in Depressing_Thoughts
Re: More male/female stuff... warning...
jik@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (jik@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Thu Oct 6 12:39:06 1988
>(1) Maybe you will find that you like a person more than you like
>being Jewish. Your arguments smack of "I'm never going to date
>anyone from California because I once went to school there and I
>known I would NEVER want to live there and they might want to live
>there."
That's a common argument from people who think that my position about
"interdating" is wrong. However, you miss the point of religion
entirely. A major component of the Jewish religion is that it
requires you to make sacrifices. I have willingly chosen to make
those sacrifices, and I think that they enhance my life greatly. I am
not willing to put myself in a position where I will have to choose
between a person I love and my religion -- I love both, I will lose
either way, and I will probably regret the decision for the rest of my
life.
Your analogy to dating someone from California is stupid. The point
you are missing is that I have a *legal obligation* under Jewish law
to marry a Jew. I consider that obligation to be more binding than
any law the United States can pass. It's not just that I "want" to
marry a Jew, it's that I *must* marry a Jew.
If your argument is with my assuming this requirement in my life, than
you might as well stop arguing here, because that is one point I will
not debate.
>(2) Maybe she will like you so much that she will truly and deeply
>want to convert. (Now we're plus one on the deal ...)
(1) Statistics say that the odds are against it.
(2) I would be very hard-pressed to believe the validity of a
conversion which takes place only to insure a marriage between two
Jews. Occasionally such a conversion is sincere, but not in most
cases.
(3) I have a religious mentality, and my religion is very important to
me. It is likely that anyone whom I grow to love would also
consider religion important for her. So, if she's not Jewish,
who's going to convert? I or she?
>(3) What's wrong with dating her (like taking her out to dinner)
>(rather than immediately becoming serious about her) and talking to
>her more to find out if she's Jewish. At the best you have a good time and
>find out she is and at the worst you have a good time and find out she
>isn't. You should be able to find out in one date (or maybe two).
>Having a good time is what's important here, right?
I agree. I've been out with non-Jewish girls (gasp!). But when I do
go on a "date" with someone who isn't Jewish, if I think they are
expressing an interest in a serious relationship, I make it clear to
them that it cannot happen. This happened to me in high school --
there was a girl who chased me around for my entire junior year (yes,
a girl chased *me* around, so no stupid comments). I went out with
her a few times, but it never got past that, and she knew that it
couldn't.
jik
