[3276] in Depressing_Thoughts
out of the broom closet
leira@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (leira@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Thu Aug 6 00:08:12 1992
My mother has completely failed to notice my religion for the past 5+ years
that I've been open about it. Granted, I didn't come out and tell her, but
it never exactly came up in conversation ("So, what religion are you these
days?"), but I've been wearing a pentagram for the last 5+ years and a
septagram since last Yule. It's not like she doesn't know what it is -- I
found out about the Craft from a book that she owned.
A few weeks ago I got up the courage to send me mother a copy of a Boston
Globe article from last April. The article was about Paganism, and I was
quoted in it. I called her a few days later to see if she'd received my
letter. She wasn't home, and we played phone-tag for quite some time. It
seemed that perhaps she was putting less effort into it than usual, but maybe
it was my imagination. The other day my mother called to give me a message
about my class reunion, and I asked if she received the article. She said,
"Yeah. I read it." She then said that she needed to go and hung up shortly
thereafter.
I assume this means that she did not take it well to have the truth about
my religion thrust in her face where she couldn't ignore it. I'm feeling
very hurt. It took a lot of courage to mail that article, but I did it
because I wanted to share with her an important part of my life. I wanted
to give her the background so that I could share with her some special things
that have happened and are about to happen.
I wish I could tell her that I've been asked to perform a wedding in the fall
and another in the spring, and that I'm excited and honored and flattered and
happy and scared about it. I want to tell her that I'm running my own study
group, and that I have two dedicants, and I'm really proud of them. I want
to tell her about the Sabbat circle that I officiated last weekend, and how
well it turned out, and how I have some good ideas for the next Sabbat. I
want to tell her that I'm happy and proud and that I feel good about something
that I'm doing for once in my life.
I guess she doesn't want to hear it, though.
