[2804] in Depressing_Thoughts
I hate it when...
pshuang@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (pshuang@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Fri Mar 6 00:29:37 1992
I hate how uptight people get when it comes to money, even amounts which
really aren't all that significant. I hate it when people won't call
you back and bail out of meetings they're supposed to attend. I hate it
when shit gets dumped into your lap that you have to deal with because
no one else will. I hate it when people insist on trying to point
fingers and blame other people when shit happens.
I hate it when people fuck up but you can't tell them because it would
be politically bad. I hate it when something that happened months ago
can still mar your feelings and enthusiasm. I hate it when people are
supposed to come together and help out and they don't. I hate it when
you feel like you're baling water with a bucket with holes.
I hate it when you interview a whole bunch of companies, review how they
went, and conclude that when you rank the companies according to how you
interviewed with them, that ranking is in exact reverse order the
ranking according to how much you want to work for that company.
I hate having nothing great to look forward to. I hate feeling really
tired almost all the time even if I've had lots of sleep the night
before by MIT standards. I hate not being able to concentrate on
getting problems done. I hate feeling inadequate. I hate loneliness.
I hate thinking about certain aspects of my life. I hate myself for
some of the decisions I made during freshmen year.
I hate the lengthy list of things I should get done that I have not. I
hate the length of the list of books I want to read that I have not. I
hate the number of things that I *WANT* to do that I will never get a
chance to. I hate the pile of things on my desk.
I hate how I can never make up my mind about anything even remotely
important and how I always wonder "what if..." I hate how sentimental I
am. I hate not being fair to myself. I hate never being satisfied with
anything I do. I hate how no matter what communication channels you
use, there's never enough bandwidth for all the subtlety. I hate my
memory (lack of effective amounts and forms thereof).
I haven't made up my mind about whether I hate my life. But I do know I
hate feeling sorry for myself.
That's probably not even close to being a complete list, but for a
single maniacal keyboard session, it's probably pretty good.
