[2799] in Depressing_Thoughts
I must be a very sick puppy...
amgreene@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (amgreene@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Sun Mar 1 15:14:36 1992
The Gilbert and Sullivan Players celebrated the first anniversary of
the group last night.
At first, I was looking forward to the party. Then I had serious
second thoughts. Finally, though, I was convinced to make a brief
appearance. And while I enjoyed talking with some of the individuals
who were there, it was depressing.
A number of people seem to think that I was depressed by the way the
group has changed. When I left the Players, it was not without some
anger on my part. I felt at that time that the Players had changed
from a bunch of neat people doing G&S because it was fun into a group
that took itself too seriously, that had too high a percentage of
non-MIT people, and that I no longer felt comfortable in. But I no
longer feel that way about the Players. It seems to me, as an outsider,
that it is once again mostly MIT students having fun with Gilbert and
Sullivan; and I'm glad to see that. The person with whom I had the
largest personal difference is no longer involved, and most of the
neat people are still there.
So, why was I depressed?
I was depressed because the G&S Players succeeded far beyond what I had
envisioned for it.
Now, isn't that just the craziest thing?
I was depressed because I looked around the room and realized how many
people's lives have been changed because of this group. How many of
them are people I've never even met, but who became involved with the
Players and it changed the balance of their lives.
They say the fluttering of a butterfly's wings in Tokyo has long-term
effects on the weather in Boston. I feel like that butterfly. I
asked the right question to the right people at the right time ---
``Why doesn't MIT have a Gilbert and Sullivan group?'' --- and look
at what happened.
Long-time readers of Coatrack will recall my fretting because I keep
waiting for the shoe to drop; I keep waiting for the world to discover
that I'm a fraud and that although I talk a lot of mean games, that I'm
really an incompetant bungler who's managed to hide that fact. Well,
I look at the success of one crazy idea and it shakes me --- I'm not
supposed to be able to *do* things like that! WHat if it should turn
out that I am, after all, no bungler?
Why does that thought terrify me? And sadden me?
