[2450] in Depressing_Thoughts
Re: Loneliness
???@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (???@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Mon Oct 21 03:28:08 1991
> It's a horrible feeling, when you have this vast gap in your heart --- a
> void that knows no filling. You try to fill it with extra activities,
> reading books, trying to find new friends; but deep within you, you know
> that the only thing that can fill the void must come from yourself.
> Yet you have now idea how you can fill the gap yourself....
Yes. 'Tis the greatest sorrow when the noblest and most heavenly soul
is stolen from one's heart. When She died, everything collapsed around
me, and I saw nothing but anger and hate and pain.
I try working harder, studying more, reading and thinking more deeply,
making new friends, helping strangers, . . . . Even crying on one
sympathetic has not begun to alleviate my sadness. All that I attempt serves
only to burden and stress me further, so that I am near breaking.
When the heart has been emptied and shattered, can it ever learn to hope
to love again? Emotions bursting from the broken heart poison the mind,
besiege the intellect, cast down the spirit, wreck the diligence, and
defile the courage. Only fortitude is left, weakened, to endure the
suffering which fades not with time, but grows more bitter.
How can God be so wicked, his Angels so vile, his Saints so ruthless
to deprive one of the only soul who ever truly understood and cared?
Is there a teacher so wise and kind as to be able to instruct one
in such sorrow as how to regain hope, and perhaps joy?
