[2313] in Depressing_Thoughts
The role of religion
amgreene@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (amgreene@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Thu Sep 12 09:31:21 1991
As many of you are aware, I recently increased my level of observance
of Judaism. I have started to observe Shabbat almost fully (I turn
lights on/off), and my apartment's kitchen is being kept kosher. I
often find these rewarding, for reasons which I'd be hard-pressed to
explain.
The problem is that I'm more observant than most of my friends
(obviously, since most of my friends aren't even Jewish), and so I
sometimes wonder if I'm inconveniencing my family and friends (and
myself) unnecessarily.
Is my life any better, any more meaningful, because I force my family
to wait until after 8:00 to go to dinner on Saturday, when they'd
rather go out at 5:30? Because I can't enjoy a slice of Jarlsburg
cheese in the morning, or a cup of coffee (with milk) after a meat
dinner? Because I can't go to a concert on Friday nights?
I'd like to answer an unequivocal "Yes," but I can't. I can offer a
qualified "yes" --- these things give some extra dimension of sanctity
to my life --- but temptation is strong. ``Oh, I'll have my Friday
night dinner and go to shul in the morning, but I really want to go on
the picnic with everyone Saturday afternoon.''
Can't I have the best of both worlds? I don't think so. I think I
have to be true to my principles and observe Shabbat (almost)
completely, and Kashrut in the home. At some point, I hope to expand
and keep Kashrut outside, at least to a larger extent than I now do;
when I reach that point I will consider myself able to start wearing a
Kipah (yarmulke) outside of services.
But my grandmother is all upset that I'm becoming "very Orthodox", and
my parents aren't thrilled that I'm becoming "somewhat Orthodox",
since they all seem to think that affiliating with the Conservative
movement constitutes a license to select piecemeal which halachot
(laws) to observe and which ones "are no longer relevant."
Am I partaking in something sanctified, enriching my life here? Or am
I being obstinate and screwing myself over for some meaningless
principle that doesn't do anything but hurt me and those closest to
me?
