[2024] in Depressing_Thoughts
Re: marriage & divorce
cuban@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (cuban@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Tue Apr 2 15:36:07 1991
In defense of marriage, there are also a couple of good things that
can be said about it. For one thing, a lifelong relationship based on
sharing everything with one person could lead to a very deep and
satisfying relationship that one just can not obtain any other way (I
am not saying here that people necessary have to be legally married to
have this type of relationship, I am just saying that they have to
lead their lives the way married people usually do). This is why the
first few years of a marriage are, in my opinion, usually the most
critical; I find that people who get divorced after many years of
marriage do so in part because this kind of relationship was never
established from the very beginning. Marriage is the only way I know
of truly "extending" your family, and I find that family support is
one thing that I find very necessary when facing the truly difficult
moments of my life. Perhaps if you come from a large, extended family
with very close ties, you do not feel as much of a need to get married
in order to get this support. However, given the increased number of
nuclear families in modern society, for many people the family they
establish through marriage is the only real family they will ever have
when they grow older. In response to ckclark's comments, I agree that
love, while a necessary component, is not enough to guarantee success
in a marriage. A willingness to share everything with the other
person and to, in a sense, lose both of your "selfs" in each other is
also necessary and, in my opinion, the most necessary component for
success. Yes, it is difficult, and I have not met many people who
have been successful at it. However, I have found some who have, and,
for them, their lives are a lot happier and better because of it.
