[1954] in Depressing_Thoughts
Re: Something I lost....
leira@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (leira@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Tue Mar 12 23:41:06 1991
Yes, Rhu, it makes perfect sense. I've felt that way at times (usually for
a long period). I'm at [what I hope is] the end of one such right now...
My usual response to feeling like I'm "just going through the motions" is
usually to *stop* going through the motions. I don't know if this is a
good response or not.
To keep going, attending religious services that my heart isn't in, is
just so *hollow*-feeling. To continue feels wrong, as though I'm cheating,
but to stop brings the people (albeit few, but still...) who will tell me
that it's wrong to not do foo or bar if I'm going to call myself a <insert
-religious-name/title/whatever-here>. I try to ignore them, but it still
hurts.
I think I stop going through the motions mostly because I need to regain
my grip on reality, and to re-establish my personal relationship with
the gods. To me, the motions mean nothing without the reverence behind them.
I hope this helps. At any rate, I think I know how you feel.
[From gentile to cowan. Gee. :-)]
