[9962] in APO News
"You are in a large gymnasium. There are ten small tables, each with
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Kevin Chen)
Sun Mar 11 18:08:53 2007
Date: Sun, 11 Mar 2007 18:08:30 -0400
From: Kevin Chen <kchen@MIT.EDU>
To: apo-apoc-distribution@mit.edu
CC: apo-news@mit.edu
This APOc features quite a few pictures from Pledge Article Meal and a
few other ones. To see the APOc in PDF form, go to
https://web.mit.edu/apo/Archives/APOcrypha/Volume106/Issue1.pdf . Even
if you saw the paper copy, you may be interested in the electronic one
to see the pictures in color. (Note -- you will need certificates to
access the PDF version.)
Given time constraints, this APOc has somewhat different dimensions than
normal.
I'm CC'ing apo-news since apo-apoc-distribution hasn't been used in a
while. If you're interested in getting future APOCs electronically, add
yourself to apo-apoc-distribution. (Other people may or may not send
APOcs here, though.)
-- kchen, the !apoced.
The APOcrypha
"Mathematics isn't real, but it seems real." "Where is this place?"
Volume 106, Issue 1 March 10, 2007
Contents
Editor's Note
WUAPO
Project Reports
Pledge Article Meal
Other Things
Fortune!
More fortune! (Write articles!)
Editor's Note
Good Afternoon AX, I am sorry that this first issue of the APOc is a bit
small and late. This however, can be fixed for the next issue. I will
try not to be hosed, and you can write me articles! You will enjoy it,
too. mwahaha. -Kristina, the APOced
WUAPO
Mon Mar 10 Science Museum Building 9am E25 dsheets
Day
Fri Mar 14 Pi Day Study Break TBA Office TBA
Fri Mar 14 Exec Meeting 6:15pm Office
holmesmd
Mon Mar 17 Child Care Resource TBA TBA TBA
Center
Fri Mar 21 Chapter Meeting 6:15pm TBA
holmesmd
Mon Mar 24 Painting at Kennedy- TBA TBA TBA
Longfellow School
Wed Mar 26 Spring Break! N/A N/A 'tute
Sun Mar 30 PMD Anniversary Benefit TBA TBA TBA
Fri Apr 04 Chapter Meeting 6:15pm TBA
holmesmd
Sun Apr 06 Chapter Weekend TBA TBA TBA
Tue Apr 08 Big Screw Setup TBA TBA TBA
Wed Apr 09 Big Screw TBA TBA TBA
Fri Apr 11 Exec Meeting 6:15pm Office
holmesmd
Sun Apr 13 Conclave TBA TBA TBA
Fri Apr 18 Chapter Meeting 6:15pm TBA
holmesmd
Sun Apr 20 SFF TBA TBA TBA
Mon Apr 21 Esplanade Earth Day TBA TBA TBA
Cleanup
Fri Apr 25 Exec Meeting 6:15pm Office
holmesmd
Mon Apr 28 Chapter Weekend 2 TBA TBA TBA
Tue Apr 29 Bread and Jams TBA TBA TBA
Fri May 02 Chapter Meeting TBA TBA
holmesmd
Tue May 06 PCR/PTR TBA TBA TBA
Fri May 09 Institute Awards 4:00pm TBA TBA
Convocation
Project Reports
By Matt Goldstein
You are standing in the middle of Mass Ave.
go north
You are facing a large building which appears to be a former armory
enter
You are in a large gymnasium. There are ten small tables, each with a
cleric sitting at it, and one with an assistant holding something in his
hands. There are a pair of signs in front pointing to the left and the
right at lines of people who appear to be waiting for the clerics.
inspect assistant
The assistant is at a table on the right. He looks scary, I wouldn't go
there.
left
You are at the end of a long line.
wait
Time passes... The people in front of you have left and you are now at
the front of the line. The nearest cleric says "Next!"
forward
The cleric asks for your "Registration form"
You remember that name being mentioned when your advisor signed a sheet
of paper earlier.
use regform
You fumble for your registration form and hand it to the cleric. She
stares at you. "Can't you read? You're a grad student, you want that
line" And points to your right
right
You are at the end of a short line. The person in front of you leaves
and you are now at the front of the line. The cleric with an assistant
in front of you says "Next!"
forward
The cleric notes how bad you are at following directions because the
right arrow was clearly pointing out the window, not towards him. The
cleric and assistant begin laughing.
wait
Time passes...
The cleric asks for your "Registration form" which you are already
holding in your hand
use regform
You hand your registration form to the cleric. His assistant cranes his
neck over to read and both their eyes light up. The cleric and assistant
start mumbling back and forth about how many units you are taking. You
start feeling very self-conscious about your courseload. The two men in
front of you suddenly snap upright and ask which of the 2 stamps the
assistant is holding you would like
inspect stamps
The stamps all say "COMPLETED" There is no visible difference
ask cleric stamps color
"Color? Of course they're all the same color. Now just pick one!"
tell cleric 2
The cleric and assistant start grumbling "2? But he's taking all thesis
units, that's much more like 4" "Yes, but he asked for 2, we can't get
in his way" "No, no, we can't have grad students with only thesis units
going around without stamp 4." The assistant hands the cleric stamp
number 4 and your form now says "COMPLETED" The cleric rips off the
white sheet and keeps it while handing you the yellow sheet. You now
have a regformcopy. "Thanks for coming to Reg Day. You might want one of
these cards"
inspect cards
These are schedule cards with information about APO and the Book
Exchange printed on the back.
take card
You have a schedulecard
exit
Enjoy your semester!
Pledge Article Meal
[pictures from Pledge Article Meal were here. See the PDF for pictures!]
Other Things
[pictures of other things were here. See the PDF for pictures!]
Fortune!
If you throw a New Year's Party, the worst thing that you can do would
be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call
you to say they had a nice time. Now you'll be be expected to throw
another party next year.
What you should do is throw the kind of party where your guest wake up
several days from now and call their lawyers to find out if they've been
indicted for anything. You want your guests to be so anxious to avoid a
recurrence of your party that they immediately start planning parties of
their own, a year in advance, just to prevent you from having another
one ...
If your party is successful, the police will knock on your door, unless
your party is very successful in which case they will lob tear gas
through your living room window. As host, your job is to make sure that
they don't arrest anybody. Or if they're dead set on arresting someone,
your job is to make sure it isn't you ...
More fortune! (Write articles!)
Magnet, n.: Something acted upon by magnetism
Magnetism, n.: Something acting upon a magnet.
The two definition immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of
one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a
great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.
--Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
