[5788] in Central_America
New quotes for Tue Feb 14
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Central America)
Tue Feb 14 03:59:34 1995
Date: Tue, 14 Feb 1995 03:59:00 -0500
From: Central America <root@charon.MIT.EDU>
To: ca-mtg@charon.MIT.EDU
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amgreene (Andrew Marc Greene):
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pfinch (Peter D Finch):
{from system: This user's .plan file is not world-readable}
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rajiv (Rajiv A Manglani):
===============================================================================
Rajiv A. Manglani rajiv@mit.edu http://www.mit.edu:8001/people/rajiv/
3 Ames Street Cambridge, MA 02142-1363 617.225.6181 800.306.0850
MIT CECI E40-370 1 Amherst Street Cambridge, MA 02139 617.253.0178
Brilliant Image Seven Penn Plaza New York, NY 10001 800.727.3278 x200
732 Argyle Road Brooklyn, NY 11230-2416 718.434.2147 718.434.2134
--------- Stuyvesant High School Alumni EMail Address List Maintainer ---------
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sgw (stephen g. wadlow):
General Review of the Sex Situation
Woman wants monogamy
Man delights in novelty.
Love is the woman's moon and sun;
Man has other forms of fun.
Woman lives but for her lord;
Count to ten, and he is bored.
With this the gist and the sum of it;
What earthly good can come of it?
Summary
Every love's the love before
In duller dress.
That's the measure of my lore-
Here's my bitterness:
Would I knew a little more,
Or very much less!
Little Words
When you are gone, there is no bloom nor leaf
Nor singing sea at night, nor silver birds
And I can only stare, and shape my grief
In little words,
I cannot conjure loveliness, to drown
The bitter woe that racks my cords apart.
The weary pen that sets my sorrow down
Feeds at my heart.
There is no mercy in the shifting year
No beauty wraps me tenderly about.
I turn to little words-so you,
my dear, can spell them out.
Theory
Into love and out again,
Thus I went, and thus I go.
Spare your voice, and hold your pen-
well and bitterly I know
All the songs were ever sung,
All the words were ever said;
Could it be, when I was young,
Some one dropped me on my head?
-Mrs. Dorothy Parker
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therese (Therese):
Never, ever say: "I fell asleep in class"
Instead, say: "Notwithstanding the scintillating repartage concomitant
to this scholastic assemblage, intransigent preternatural biological
functions conspired to surmount my fragile resolve, plunging
consciousness beneath my direct autonomy and thus insuring a rapid
decline into somnolency."
-- Ultimate Student's Handbook
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warlord (Derek Atkins):
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: ibrahim@leland.stanford.edu (Nabeel Robert Ibrahim)
Subject: Electrical Engineering Purity Test
Keywords: chuckle, computers
Date: Sun, 12 Feb 95 19:30:02 EST
This is what comes about when I get really bored during
class...Nabeel Ibrahim (ibrahim@leland.stanford.edu)
********************************************************************
Electrical Engineering Purity Test, Version 1.0
(c)1994 Nabeel Ibrahim
You may distribute this freely, but please leave the headers intact.
This test consists of 50 yes/no questions to test your Electrical
Engineering Purity. You score 1 point for each "Yes" and 0 points
for each "No," except where noted.
____110001
\
Total Score = > your score for question k
/___
k=0
(that's a summation symbol)
MAIL ANY COMMENTS/SUGGESTIONS TO: ibrahim@leland.stanford.edu
0 Have you ever discharged a capacitor?
1 Done 0 twice in one day?
10 Done 0 with your tongue?
11 Have you ever doped silicon?
100 Done 11 with someone else?
101 Done 11 with two or more people?
110 Done 11 with someone without knowing their name?
111 Have you ever tweaked a resistor? (oh, that's so sexy...)
1000 Have you ever blown up an electrolytic capacitor?
1001 Done 1000 while an animal watched?
1010 Have you ever fondled a 10K resistor?
1011 Have you ever derived an equation?
1100 Done 1011 with a member of the opposite sex?
1101 Have you ever worn a pocket protector?
1110 Have you ever checked your email more than 10 times in one day?
1111 Done 1110 for one week straight?
10000 Have you ever made a joke about transistors?
10001 Have you ever laughed at a joke about transistors? (this
one is worth 3 points)
10010 Have you ever wondered how the circuitry would work in
that liquid metal guy in T2?
10011 Have you ever used Ohm's Law to excess?
10100 Done 10011 while someone of the opposite sex watched?
10101 Done 10011 with a large ungulate (hooved animal)?
10110 (Guys only) Have you ever counted the number of females
in one of your EE classes so you could gain sympathy from
friends in Liberal Arts?
10111 Do you speak in assembly?
11000 Has your skin color changed as a result of spending too much
time in front of a terminal? (That green tone really works
for me...)
11001 Have you ever had a serious discussion with someone about
whether CISC is better than RISC?
11010 Have you ever used :-) to excess?
11011 Have you ever had to explain :-) to a friend?
11100 Have Fourier, LaPlace, or Maxwell ever visited you in a dream?
(This one is worth 20 points. You *should* not, under any
circumstances, fantasize about EE!)
11101 Have you ever read "The Sex Life of an Electron"?
11110 Can you rapidly count to 100d in binary?
11111 Do you have more than 5 computer accounts?
100000 Do you have more than 10 computer accounts? (Geek!)
100001 Have you ever laughed at a Liberal Arts major because they
couldn't find a job? (You should...it's really fun)
100010 Are you addicted to reverse polish(HP) notation?
100011 Have you ever slept with your significant other
(girlfriend/boyfriend) on the floor of a computer lab?
100100 Have you ever been in a relationship with someone you met
through email or a newsgroup?
100101 Have you ever been turned on by a transistor?
100110 Have you ever turned on a transistor?
100111 Have you ever measured ground bounce?
101000 Done 100111 with an inanimate object?
101001 Done 100111 with a cadaver?
101010 Have you ever faked a bias point? (Have you no shame?!?!?)
101011 Have you ever had an intimate encounter with a voltage supply?
101100 Have you ever watched while someone else had an intimate
encounter with a voltage supply?
101101 Have you ever probed a circuit?
101110 Done 101101 with other people watching?
101111 Done 101101 more than five times in one day?
110000 Done 101101 without protection? (You should really wear a
ground strap!)
110001 Did you laugh while taking this quiz? (This one should be
worth 30, but it's only worth 2)
Scoring Scale:
00-15 points ==> Go back to your English class.
15-25 points ==> Either you have a life or you are an underclassman/woman.
25-35 points ==> You can feel your life slipping through your
fingers as you get sucked into the world of Electrical
Engineering. It could be worse...you could be in CS.
35-45 points ==> You should definitely go to grad school in EE.
45-72 points ==> You are a lost cause. You're the EE equivalent of
Carl Sagan. Please do not contact me...ever.
Note: Please send me your score, as I am trying to accumulate enough
data to do a statistical analysis...seriously!!
ibrahim@leland.stanford.edu (Nabeel Ibrahim)
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--
Selected by Maddi Hausmann Sojourner. MAIL your joke to funny@clarinet.com.
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
Remember: PLEASE spell check and proofread your jokes. You think I have
time to hand-correct everybody's postings?
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wiz (Craig A. Wisneski):
{from system: This user's .plan file is not world-readable}
--- End of Central America ---
