[5072] in Central_America
New quotes for Sun Aug 29
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Central America)
Sun Aug 29 04:56:56 1993
Date: Sun, 29 Aug 93 04:56:40 -0400
From: Central America <root@charon.MIT.EDU>
To: ca-mtg@charon.MIT.EDU
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dmaw:
{from system: This user's .plan file is not world-readable}
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hch (Hernando Cortina):
My BIOLOGICAL ALARM CLOCK just went off.. It has noiseless
DOZE FUNCTION and full kitchen!!
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mskeynes (Michael S Keynes):
If you want to get a hold of me, I'm at
Michael Keynes
A109-6
3801 Brooklyn Ave NE
Seattle, WA 98105
(206) 634-1609
keynes@math.washington.edu
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nosaj (Jason M Sachs):
True story: (funny, I don't tell many of these... :o])
I had to machine a bunch of grooves in a plastic disc for my UROP
about two weeks ago, so I went down to the student machine shop in
Building 1; Norm is the guy in charge there. I would have gone to the
regular machine shop but it seems like every time I go there one of
the guys says something like ``Heh... good luck trying to do
that....'' so I went to Norm.
Anyway, so I've got all the diameters and thicknesses of the grooves,
and I'm wondering how we're going to do this---but Norm gets out a chuck
for the lathe and the disc actually fits and I'm calculating what the numbers
on the dial for the lathe should be if I'm going to get the grooves
where I want them.
So we're getting set up, and Norm is showing me how to set my zero: I
have to bring the lathe tool across the center and then back until I
get it right at the center, because you can only go one direction,
otherwise the tool can move a little when you switch directions and
you're not guaranteed accuracy---if you do it right, though, you can
get pretty damn precise with that machine. I had to do it twice 'cause
I didn't go beyond the zero point the first time, and Norm kinda
looked at me funny and made me set my zero again.
And after that's set, we get the little gizmo set up, the one that
measures how far into the material you're going, and he shows me the
right settings for the lathe speed I want, and the tool's in the tool
holder thingy nice and tight and my disc's in the chuck tight and the
tool isn't going to hit the chuck when it spins around 'cause I've got
plenty of room. So he goes ``You ready?'' and I say, ``Yeah, I'm
ready,'' and I'm getting all psyched to get those grooves machined
out, and he turns the thing on and all I have to do is engage the
clutch. (It felt kind of like the first time I put a key into the
ignition in a car.)
So I do, and the chuck rotates about a quarter turn, and then, *WHAM!*,
it stops, and I'm thinking, ``Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit....''
and meanwhile, Norm is pushing hard on the brake to disengage the clutch,
which is what I should have been doing myself, if I hadn't been
thinking ``Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit....''
(I mean, if you start up a car and jam your foot down on the gas
and immediately run into a brick wall, you should probably take
your foot off. The engine doesn't like it, I would imagine.)
The word ``oops'' came to mind.
He turns the crank and the tool moves back away from the chuck, so
we could see what was (or rather, ``what had been'') in the way.
The chuck had hit one of the bolts attaching the tool holder thingy
(what do you call that, anyway?) to the lathe table. (I hadn't moved
the tool out far enough relative to the gizmo that was holding it; the
tool's supposed to be close enough to touch your material, but the
tool holder isn't supposed to touch anything that's moving at 330
RPM.) And this is not a happy bolt. You know, bolts are these big
heavy threaded rods with a rounded cap on the end that has a slot so
you can turn it with a screwdriver, right? Well, everything to the
left of the slot was gone. Scraped off, flattened, I don't know what
exactly happened (abraded?) but I figured it was bad. (The chuck, on
the other hand, wasn't even scratched.) And I looked at Norm, and
things didn't look too good, and I'm wondering, ``Am I gonna be
banished from the machine shop forever? Is he gonna kill me?''
And we don't say a word to each other for a while.... he readjusts the
tool in the tool holder and finally asks me something like, ``Hey, did
you learn anything?'' and I don't really remember what I said or what
I was thinking, except I think maybe I was waiting for him to say something
loud and angry....
``You know what you're gonna have to do now?'' he says.
Uh oh. I'm gonna have to, like, clean the whole machine shop with my
tongue or something, and I'll never be able to use the lathe again
because I'm incompetent and I let the chuck hit something. ``Uh...,''
I said, which is kind of a nice thing to say when you want to let
someone know that you have no idea what you're doing at this point.
``You gotta reset your zero.''
``What?''
``Your zero. I just put the tool in a different position, so you lost
your zero. You won't be able to do those grooves right unless you set
your zero.''
* * * * * * * *
There will be a slight delay in the completion of ``Seems to Me''
[the above anecdote is an actual true story, whereas ``Seems to Me''
is a fictional true story] while I get through Rush somehow and
tie up my UROP (I got those grooves done, by the way, though I'm
going to have to redo them in aluminum because I need to do something
slightly different this time....) and get acquainted with my fall
workload.
I'm probably not going to post any more quotes here until after I
finish the 1st draft; apologies to those who have been watching this
space and waiting.
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prichard (Michael Prichard):
{from system: This user's .plan file is not world-readable}
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starflt (Derrick Kong):
This plan is currently under construction. Estimated date of completion
is 9/30...
--- End of Central America ---
