[4904] in Central_America
New quotes for Thu May 13
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Thu May 13 17:19:42 1993
Date: Thu, 13 May 93 16:29:41 -0400
From: root@charon.mit.edu (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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dryfoo (Gary L. Dryfoos):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable, but if it
were, it would probably say:}
Hey, Calvin says,
BE CAREFUL
or
BE ROADKILL!
Roadkill Buffet will be performing this summer in the Courtyard at One
Kendall Square, starting in late May. Roadkill Buffet at 8:00pm, free
movies at 9:30. Watch this info for more space.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(for Free and Highly Entertaining information on how YOU can own a
profitable KREL franchise in your area, write to
KREL, Inc.
% Lt. Col. Philip A. Goldman, USAF-Ret.
55 Todd St.
Warwick, RI 02888
USA
Enclose SASE. Use No Hooks! Dilute! Okay! All-One! Okay!)
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mcflucks (Coz McFlucks)
Huh? What? I hope not.
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kks (Kyle K Shinseki):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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repeat (David A. Irvine):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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starflt (Derrick Kong):
A Dog's Life
An airborne corps spokesman at Forg Bragg, North Carolina, explaining
why the Army contemplates only limited use of parachuting dogs: "We have
soldiers here in training jumping every day, but we wouldn't consider
jumping the dogs that often. It's an expensive proposition to train the
dogs, and we don't want to take unnecessary risks with them."
from No Comment
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therese (Therese):
With one breath, with one flow
You will know
Synchronicity
-- The Police
Synchronicity
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tlouie (Tom Louie):
My current address:
Tom Louie
500 Memorial Dr. #271
Cambridge, MA 02139
617-225-8919
My Summer '93 address:
500 Memorial Dr. #423
Cambridge, MA 02139
617-225-8823
My Fall '93 address:
500 Memorial Dr. #216
Cambridge, MA 02139
617-225-8716
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warlord (Derek Atkins):
Date: Wed, 12 May 93 4:30:11 EDT
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: BRYANS@ups.edu ( BRYAN SMITH)
Subject: WifeSpeak Translated
Keywords: chuckle, heard it
[This was circulating at my wife's company.]
"The Modern Man's Guide to Understanding His Wife"
WIFESPEAK ENGLISH EQUIVALENT
--------- ------- ----------
* You want <==> You want
* We need <==> I want
* It's your decision <==> The right decision should be obvious by now
* Do what you want <==> You'll pay for this later
* We need to talk <==> I need to complain
* Sure,... go ahead <==> I don't want you to
* I'm hungry <==> (a) Make me something to eat
(b) Stop what you are doing, scrape together
your last $$, and go drive across town
and get me something to eat. ... I don't
care if what you are doing is important.
* I'm not upset <==> Of course I'm upset, you moron
* You're,... so manly <==> You need a shave and you sweat a lot
* You're certainly <==> Is sex all you ever think about?
attentive tonight
* I'm not emotional! <==> I'm having my period
And I'm not over-
reacting!
* Be romantic, turn <==> I have flabby thighs
out the lights.
* This kitchen is so <==> I want a new house
inconvenient
* The car is empty <==> Go fill it up
* The trash is full <==> Take it out
* The dog is barking <==> Go outside in your underwear and see what is
wrong
* I want new curtains <==> and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper
* I need wedding shoes <==> the other 40 pair are the wrong shade of white
* Hang the picture <==> NO! I mean hang it there!
there
* I heard a noise <==> I noticed you were almost asleep
* Do you love me? <==> I'm going to ask for something expensive
* How much do you love <==> I did something today you're really not going
me? to like
In answer to "What's Wrong?"
* Nothing <==> Everything
* Everything <==> My PMS is acting up
* Nothing, really <==> It's just that you're such an asshole
* I don't want to talk <==> Go away, I'm still building up steam.
about it
--
Selected by Maddi Hausmann. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com.
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
Please don't send us requests of the form, "could you please send me the
joke about XXX?" Yes, we have it, but if we were willing to let ourselves be
a joke server we would spend all day doing it. We reject all such requests.
--- End of Central America ---
