[4894] in Central_America
New quotes for Sat May 8
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Sat May 8 10:15:48 1993
Date: Sat, 8 May 93 10:15:24 -0400
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
brlewis (Bruce R. Lewis):
I will be on vacation all next week, May 10-14. I'll probably check my
voice mail and email on Friday.
If all goes as planned, I'm driving to Maine, where I'll ride my bike to
Bar Harbor and back.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
ckclark (Calvin Clark):
. . . . . .
There's a policeman with an honest soul
That has seen whose head is on the pole
And he grunts as he fills his briar bowl
With a feeling of unease . . .
Then he briskly frisks the torn remains
For a fingerprint or crimson stains
And endeavours to ignore the chains
That he walks in to his knees.
While his master in the dark nearby
Inspects the hands with a brutal eye
That have never brushed a lover's thigh
But have squeezed a nation's throat.
And he hungers in his secret dreams
For the harsh embrace of cruel machines
But his lover is not what she seems
And she will not leave a note.
. . . . . .
---from the lyrics of ``This Vicious Cabaret''
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
dryfoo (Gary L. Dryfoos):
Hey, Calvin says,
Be Careful
or
Be Roadkill!
Roadkill Buffet will be performing this summer in the Courtyard at One
Kendall Square, starting in late May. Roadkill Buffet at 8:00pm, free
movies at 9:30. Watch this info for more space.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(for free and entertaining information on how YOU can own a profitable
KREL franchise in your area, write to
KREL, Inc.
% Lt. Col. Philip A. Goldman, USAF-Ret.
55 Todd St.
Warwick, RI 02888
USA
Enclose SASE. Use No Hooks! Dilute! Okay! All-One! Okay!)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
mcflucks (Coz McFlucks)
I don't know. Go away. Leave me alone
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
hch (Hernando Cortina):
Edwin Meese made me wear CORDOVANS!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
sokoloff (James T Sokoloff):
Jim last logged out @ Sat May 8 06:30:50 EDT 1993 on host pesto...
Plan? What plan?
------ Phi Delta Theta Social Events for the upcoming weeks ------
Wed Apr 21: 9:30 PM Wed Social-Cake and Cappucino! (Yum)
Fri Apr 23: 9:00 PM Party at the old folks home (Dan, Sean and Jim) (i)
666-9565 for info; come meet Matt Gimre and drink with him
Daniel, Sean and Jim are throwin' an
Ear-Drum-Thumpin'
Tequila-Guzzlin'
On-The-Furniture-Dancin'
In-The-BathTub-Yackin'
Ass-Of-Yourself-Makin'
PARTY! Friday Apr 23, 1993
Sat Apr 24: ?:00 PM Alumni Dinner (i)
Sun Apr 25:12:01 AM Console Jim on becoming an _old man_ (22)
(i) indicates that the event is (roughly) closed and invitations are available.
Other events are "open" to all friends of the house and guests
Any questions, don't call me, call the house number (247-8691) and ask for
Pat Baker or Zack Johnson... Thanks... ---Jim Sokoloff
Modify: Sun Apr 18 14:42:58 1993( 00019.15:48:01)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
starflt (Derrick Kong):
The Real Thing
An announcement from the Alamo Consulting Group: "The Alamo Consulting
Group leads the field of management development in proactive processes
with a new validated design. The Process Management Skills Program is
criterion-referenced, assuring effectiveness and efficiency of the
varied modes of learning and relevant practice. The ultimate validation
is application of the processes to real-world performance requirements,
and PMS works!"
from No Comment
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
therese (Therese):
Bits and pieces, bits and pieces.
People.
People important to you, people unimportant to you cross your
life. Touch it with love and carelessness and move on.
There are people who leave you and you breathe a sigh of relief
and wonder why you ever came into contact with them.
There are people who leave you and you breathe a sigh of remorse
and wonder why they had to go away and leave such a gaping hole.
Children leave parents; friends leave friends, acquaintances
grow apart.
Enemies hate and move on.
Friends love and move on.
You think of the many who have moved into your hazy memory.
You look on those present and wonder.
I believe in God's master plan in life. He moves people in and
out of each other's lives, and each leaves his mark on the
other. You find you are made up of bits and pieces of all who
ever touched your life, and you are more because of it, and you
would be less if they had not touched you.
Pray to God that you accept the bits and pieces, in humility and
wonder, and never question and never regret.
Bits and pieces, bits and pieces.
- L. Channey
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
warlord (Derek Atkins):
Date: Fri, 7 May 93 4:30:02 EDT
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: jt3h+@andrew.cmu.edu (Jeremy Matthew Toeman)
Subject: Allnighters....
Keywords: original, chuckle
Top 50 Worst Reasons to pull an all-nighter
by Jeremy "Shaggy" Toeman (jt3h+@andrew.cmu.edu)
NOTE: an all-nighter means missing one night's worth of sleep.
1. Heated "Less-filling" "Tastes great" debate.
2. Need to figure out which way is east. Wait for sunrise.
3. Watching Professional Wrestling.
4. Writing script to "Problem Child 3" in an attempt to put to rest all
the unanswered questions from 1 and 2.
5. Cramming for a test you have the following week.
6. Waiting for friend to call back with answer to "How do you keep an
idiot up all night?"
7. Anything involving latin, Taylor's series, or heat transfer.
8. Attempting to discover how many licks it takes to get to the center
of a Tootsie Pop.
9. Slightly confused on that whole 5 o'clock shadow thing.
10. Listening to every CD you own using that cool "intro" feature that
comes in SO handy with every CD player available.
11. John Wayne-a-thon on channel 2.
12. Trying to figure out all the words to that Nirvana song.
13. UCBTalking to anyone you won't ever spend intimate time with. Same
goes for IRC and Broadcast.
14. Watering plants. Dead plants. Rocks. Dirt. The cat.
15. Trying to draw a perfect circle freehand, with crayons.
16. Singing along with "Achy Breaky Heart" over and over again. What
catchy lyrics that song has, eh?
17. Second-guessing your clock. (Also works well with Traffic Lights, and
simply anything that blinks on and off forever)
18. Driving to every 7-11 (or Circle K) in town, just to check that they
are being faithful to their "Open 24 Hours" policies.
19. Tring to figure out just why Wil Wheaton is a star.
20. Pricking yourself with a pin every 5 minutes, just for the heck of
it.
21. Reading all the articles in your entire Playboy collection to see how
relevant they are to today's economy.
22. Spinning round and round in circles until you get so dizzy you hurl.
Repeat in opposite direction. Figure out which way makes you blow
chunks faster. Try to keep spinning while heaving.
23. Coming up with as many colorful euphemisms for the term "vomit" as
possible. (e.g. spew, yak, ralph, etc...)
24. Thinking about ways the world would be different if there was no
cement.
25. Spelunking. In your basement.
26. Price shopping for beef jerky at any 24-hour supermarkets.
27. Thinking about that 14-year old brat who sent in $1000 to Clinton,
when you splurge on a Whopper Combo.
28. Making popcorn, or blowing balloons. (Sorry, inside joke. They are
still NOT good reasons to pull an all-nighter, however)
29. Pulling out each strand in a Koosh ball. Reassemble the koosh ball.
Repeat. Juggle on occasion.
30. Pretending it is really 12 hours later than it is. (i.e. Going to
classes, eating lunch, waiting for the soaps to come on...)
31. Just watching that flashing 12:00 on your VCR because you looked at
your other clocks already, and are simply looking for a second
opinion.
32. Rearranging your room all night long, attempting to make the WORST
setup possible, just to show that you would do such a thing.
33. Learn how to communicate better with the animal kingdom.
34. Trying to figure out how that counter works on a VCR. Once you do
figure it out, borrow a friend's VCR. Repeat until insane.
35. Memorizing all the area codes. (Other good things: local phone
prefixes, zip codes, time zones, etc...)
36. Wanting to see cool times on your clock like 1:23, 6:66, 4:56, 00:69,
6:30, etc... (If you actually look for some of these times, you may
end up waiting more than all night...)
37. Pulling all your hair out so you can organize it by color, length,
thickness, straightness. Continue doing so until they haul you off to
the loony bin.
38. Learning sanskrit, serbo-croatian, ancient french, klingon, or any
other language you probably won't have much call for.
39. Anything that has to do with Star Trek. (ESPECIALLY watching Star
Trek 5 or 1 really... or that Deep Space show....)
40. Catching up with all those missed episodes of Coach you taped, so you
can follow along with the current, in-depth plotline.
41. Buying large amounts of bubble wrap, popping it ALL, then using it to
ship stuff. Breakable stuff.
42. You HAVE a life, yet you spend it reading lists like this.
43. Getting high on Marks-A-Lot markers.
44. Holding yourself hostage, but not telling anyone. Make large demands.
45. Trying to find food combinations that taste really bad.
46. Pondering all the hardships Michael Jackson has gone through in his
life. Writing him a sympathy card would be a nice touch.
47. House of cards.
48. Reliving the war. Any war. Maybe a childhood schoolyard fight. Maybe
just you stubbing your toe on that damned couch again.
49. Playing with heat-sensitive toys.
50. Writing "Top 50" lists. Be creative.
Thanks to Michael "Red" Harris for his rather uninspiring remarks.
Distribute freely, but please don't cut ANYTHING from the first line to this
one.
---
Shaggy Toeman jt3h+@andrew.cmu.edu
--
Selected by Maddi Hausmann. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com.
Sponsored by ClariNet Communications Corp.
If you post instead of mailing, it screws up the reply-address sometimes.
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
--- End of Central America ---
