[4807] in Central_America
New quotes for Tue Mar 9
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Tue Mar 9 17:19:49 1993
Date: Tue, 9 Mar 93 17:19:33 -0500
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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autumn (Barbara C Manganis):
The making from the unmaking,
The ending from the beginning,
Who shall know surely?
What we know is the doorway between them
that we enter departing.
....
Only in silence the word,
only in dark the light,
only in dying life:
bright the hawk's flight
on the empty sky.
,
- The Creation of Ea
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javitd (Javit A Drake):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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philo (philo):
chez nous, le ciel est toujours beau.
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pshuang (Ping-Shun Huang):
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#include "/afs/athena/user/p/s/pshuang/.standard.contact.info"
We interrupt the usual .plan programming for an unimportant bulletin:
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The Arapaho had similar [trickster] stories [filled with lustful
characters mocked by the stories]. George A. Dorsey and Alfred
L. Kroeber collected several for Chicago's Field Columbian
Museum, but at the time they were published, in 1903, the
lustful sequences were translated into Latin so as to preserve
them but not appall readers of that day:
| Nihancan [the Trickster] got to a camp-circle and was heart
| struck by chief's daughter, who was very beautiful. The belle
| wore an elk tooth dress and did not do any woman's work except
| quilled work, etc. She was free from dirty work. Nihancan
| started off and reached a hill, staying on top of the hill that
| day until the sun set. Is nocte ad tabercanulum (tipi) se
| convertit et membro suo dixit: "Age, volo te ad puellem pulchram
| quae in principia tabernaculo est ire et in foramen quod inter eins
| crura est intrare. Cum ad hoc oramen perveneris, transmitte ad
| me impulsum. Tum ego me propellam, id quod mihi satisfaciet."
|
| Itaque membrum virile profectum ad taberculum lente serpsit et
| ad os foraminis pervenit. Nihancan sensit contactum et membrum
| suum propulsit quod fecit ut puella exclamamans e lecto saltu
| surgeret. Sanguis e vagina fluit. Pater et mater igni acceso
| membri caput immensum et membrum ipsum viderunt. Id cultro
| frustatim deciderunt, dum eius finem venerunt. Membrum ita
| resectum est ut nihil ex illo tempore noxas fecerit et homines
| membrum virile valde breve habeant.
-- Dee Brown, @i(Wondrous Times on the Frontier)
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Now we return you to our usual programming....
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starflt (Derrick Kong):
How to Spot a G-Man
"Years ago, all the FBI agents drank Yukon Jack," says Hal Binyon, owner
of a bar and restaurant near Chicago's Federal Building. "Now they all
drink wine spritzers."
from No Comment
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therese (Therese):
So I'm walking through the desert
and I'm not frightened although it's hot
I have all that I requested
and I do not want what I haven't got
- Sinead O'Connor
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warlord (Derek Atkins):
From: LOSTART on GEnie) (Chris B)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: Lauren Bacall to White Courtesy Phone
Keywords: chuckle, true
Date: 9 Mar 93 09:30:02 GMT
Was cleaning out my briefcase and came across this beaut I picked up off the
ground a year (or so) ago when my desk was directly next to American Airlines
baggage service office. I agologize in advance for the formatting (speaking
to the "grammatically correct" }B) but when it was edited with lower-case,
correct spelling and such it seemed to lose some of the comic impact these
poor agents were enduring as this unfolded...
AA FACTS
OSI PLEASE ID POSSIBLE PRANK
OSI DANIELS ORVILLE JR WILL BE DRESS AS LAUREN BACALL. ATTN
OSI TICKET AGENT OR GATE AGENT PLEASE CHECK ID
REMARKS
TBMEDIT/PNR UPDATED FOR 1402.00/0056/22MAY
MR ORVILLE DANIELS JR CALLED TO CONFIRM ITN AND STATED HE
WOULD BE DRESSED AS LAUREN BACALL AND WANTED TO TRVLG
AS HER....HE WOULD BE DRESSINF UP AS HER....HAVD MR ORV
LLE THAT IF WERE TO PURCHASE A TKT UNDER THE NAME OF LAUR
EN BECALL ONLY A PAX WITH THAT NAME WILL BE ABLE TO TRVL.
HE WOULD NN TO SHOW ID AND IF THE ID DID NOT MATCH HE
WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TRVL......GOOD LUCK TO THE NEXT AGEN
T WHO GETS THIS 5/19FO
MR ORVILLE CALLLED ON 20 MAY AND STATED HE WOULD BE WEARING
A GOLD GOWN ON THE FLIGHT SO HE WOULD NOT BE DRESSED LIKE
ANYONE ELSE TRAVELLING ON THE FLT ......GOOD LUCK TO THE
NEXT AGENT WHO GETS THIS 5/20
XTL
GOLD HIGH HEALS GOLD PANTI GOLD GOWN GOLD EAR RINGS
GOLD GLOVES OVER THE ELBOW GLOD NECKLES LONG BLOND WIG
MINK STLOE RED RUGH LIP STICK GOLD HAND BAG BRA GOLD
WOULD LIKE TO REFERED TO AS MISS BACALL
CALLED TO WARN THE AGENT THAT HE HAS A MALE VOICE
-TBMCK
TOLD THE PAX THAT IF HE WANTED TO DRESS AS LAUREN BACALL
THAT WOULD BE FINE--I TOLD HIM THAT WE MUST USE HIS OWN NA
ME FOR INSURANCE REASON AND THAT WE NEED TO PUT THAT ON T
HE TICKETS-- HAVE FUN WITH THE NEXT AGENT THAT GETS THIS
SATRO G PORTER
PAX MR DANIEL CALLED AGAIN SYS THT HE NN TO HAVE TKT
ISSUE UNDER MS BACALLES NAME BUT THT CAN NOT BE DONE ***PER CSD
HADV PAX THT IT IS TRUE AND WE CAN NOT ISSUE TKT UNDER
MS BACALLES NAME*THAN PAX ASK WITH CONCERN IF HE WLD BE TREATE
D AS A MAN OR WOMAN IF HE IS DRESSED AS A WOMAN HADV THT
FLIGHT ATTEND WOULD TREAT HIM LIKE ANY OTHER PAX OF EITHR
SEX THE SAME WAY AND GET SERVICED SAME FOOD DRINKS AND
ANY THING ELSE PAX SD OK AND HUNG UP*****..........IF CALL
AGAIN REFER TO CSD AND TO OTHER RECORD UNDER MS BACALL
DONT GIVE INFO ON MS BACALLS RECORD OR SAY SHE IS ON THER
PAX CALLED ONCE AGAIN TO ADV THAT HE/LL BE MAKING A
GRAND ENTRANCE AT THE ATO COMPLETE WITH BODYGUARKS...HE
WANTED TO ALSO CHK ON ITIN IF HIS COMP UPGRADE TO LON
WAS INCLUDED IN THIS RES...ASKED HIM HOW HE GOT THE COMP
UPGRADE AND HE SAID THAT THE LAST AGT HAD PROMISED A
FREE UPGRADE IF HE TRAVELED BEFORE 15JUN...HAVD PAX OF
INFO IN /FLYINTL/ REGARDING F/C/Y TRAVEL BEFORE 15JUN
AND RECVG FREE TKT GOOD FOR TVL THIS FALL AND THAT HE/D
NN TO BE AN AADV MEMBER ALSO...HE ADV THAT HE IS A
PREMIUM AADV TRAVELER ON AMERICA WEST /HE MUST BE LOST/
...ANYWAY, CALLED CSD REGARDING PAX AND THEY SAID TO
ASK FOR HIS HOME FON NUMBER SINCE FON LISTED IN THIS
REC IS INCORRECT...WENT BACK TO PAX AND ASKED FOR FON CTC
AND HE ADV THAT HE ALREADY GAVE US THE NUMBER AND THAT
HIS MAKEUP WAS RUNNING....HE HUNG UP AND THAT WAS THAT
HE/S GOING INTL NOW, ICSD BEWARE..........21MAY
TBM PAYMENT DUE 01JUN
TBM AUTO CANCEL 16JUN
XXTAI21MAY/04JUN X
PAX CLD AGAIN ON 5/24 /LUCKY ME/ CLD CSD AND THEY JUST
TOLD ME TO TELL HEM THAT EVERYTHING WAS IN ORDER AND
THAT WE WOULD SEE HIM AT THE GATE
RECEIVED FROM - MR BACALL
I wonder if this ever continued... B)
--
Selected by Maddi Hausmann. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com.
Please! No copyrighted stuff. Also no "mouse balls," dyslexic agnostics,
Iraqi driver's ed, Administratium, strings in bar or bell-ringer jokes.
--- End of Central America ---
