[4688] in Central_America
New quotes for Sun Dec 6
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Sun Dec 6 16:59:55 1992
Date: Sun, 6 Dec 92 16:59:41 -0500
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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belville (Sharon Belville):
The pun o' the day is:
Old monarchs never die - they're just throne away.
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daricha (Daricha Techopitayakul):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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edzimmer (Eric D. Zimmerman):
To get my grad school applications in on time. (possible)
And to remember enough of this term's work to pass my four classes (doubtful)
And then to get my thesis done. (yeah, right!)
"Kill the turkeys, ducks, and chickens,
Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens.
Even though the prospect sickens,
Brother, here we go again.
Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things!
God rest ye merry merchants, may ye make the yuletide pay!
Angels we have heard on high
Tell us to go out and buy!"
-Tom Lehrer,
"A Christmas Carol"
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jefft (Jeff Tang):
"It's called 'guilt,' and boy does it work!"
--- Tom, "Appreciating Our Parents"
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mfkeady (Margaret K. Kalb):
"When we consider that women are treated as property, it is degrading
to women that we should treat our children as property to be disposed
of as we see fit."
--Elizabeth Cady Stanton
"It seems to me clear as daylight that abortion would be a crime."
--Mahatma Gandhi
"I am not willing to stand aside and allow this concept of expendable
human lives to turn this great country of ours into just another
exclusive reservation where only the perfect, priviledged and planned
have a right to live."
--Mildred Jefferson
"I feel that the greatest destroyer of peace today is abortion."
--Mother Theresa
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starflt (Derrick Kong):
The Smoking Gum
A nicotine chewing gum designed to help smokers give up the habit was
withdrawn from the market in Sweden after researchers found that
children used the gum, got hooked on nicotine and then switched to
cigarettes.
from No Comment
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therese (Therese):
We were friends who rode the waves
The time we spent in our younger days
Was all in fun,.. oh the good times that we had.
We were young and it was fine
To feel your spirit as it climbed
There're no regrets
Only good times
We were friends in younger days
Although we went our separate ways
You were my friend, you never turned away
Who can say what life will do
Life is kind to just a few
There're no regrets
Only good times
In time we will grow, we will change
As free as the wind and the waves
Live your life the way you choose
Find the ones who'll laugh with you
Like the sea
will find its way to shore
As the sun sinks from the sky,
Live your life and you will find
There're no regrets
Only good times ....
- Keola and Kapono Beamer
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wamprat (Irwin Lee):
Now logged in on m11-113-7
at Sun Dec 6 16:06:34 EST 1992
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warlord (Derek Atkins):
Date: Sat, 5 Dec 92 12:20:01 EST
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: hobson@pipper.enet.dec.com (Cary - Hobson's Choice - 508-841-2323 03-Dec-1992 1658)
Subject: And the Twelve Bugs of Christmas ....
Keywords: topical, heard it, computers, chuckle
For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
See if they can do it again.
For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the seventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the eighth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the ninth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the tenth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the eleventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Say it's not supported
Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
For the twelfth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Tell them it's a feature
Say it's not supported
Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.
--
Selected by Maddi Hausmann. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com.
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
Remember: Only ONE joke per submission. Extra jokes may be rejected.
--- End of Central America ---
