[4470] in Central_America
New quotes for Tue Aug 4
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Tue Aug 4 06:53:13 1992
Date: Tue, 4 Aug 92 06:52:55 -0400
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
belville (Sharon Belville):
The pun o' the day is:
Old contortionists never die - they just meet their end.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
cyrus (Die Die Yankee Dog!):
--- I have seen the FUN ---
By the incredible power of computers, my Zippy AI will continue to work
even when I am in Pakistan! I'll be back on Sept 8th, so wish me luck.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
dryfoo (Gary L. Dryfoos):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable, but if it
were, it would say:
from The Boston Globe
Monday, August 3, 1992
"Then Bush responded to whether he would drop out of
the race by holding up a half-eaten ear of corn to
the questioners, a gesture he did not explain."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When the Sun comes up on America, and the workin' day's begun,
American Folks at American Jobs make this country run.
From the highways to the mountains, where the mighty rivers flow,
Across the land, the building hands are making America grow.
We're here and we know why -- because we do the things we do.
(And we know we do them well!!)
In a world that turns to America, America turns to KREL!
(for free and entertaining information on how YOU can own a
profitable KREL franchise in your area, write to KREL, Inc.,
% P.A. Goldman, 55 Todd St., Warwick, RI 02888 USA.
Enclose SASE. Use No Hooks! Dilute! Okay! All-one! Okay!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
}
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
waltego (Walter Ego)
{From system: This user does not exist.}
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
ellis (Steve Ellis):
Seen on a T-shirt around Fenway Park:
Red Sox Magic
Number
911
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
jefft (Jeff Tang):
Yeah, yeah, sure--don't you have to go make some Elfin cookies?
--- Crow
She looks like an Oompa-Loompa!
--- Tom, "Moon Zero Two"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
kagraves (Kenneth A Graves):
"The most obvious problem with Turing's challenge is that there is no
practical reason to create machine intelligences indistinguishable
from human ones. People are in plentiful supply. Should a shortage
arise, there are proven and popular methods for making more of them;
these require no public subsidy and little or no technology."
Leader in the 8/1/92 Economist
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
leira (Rev. Linda L. Julien):
Barley Dream
by Robin & Miriam
His last sight was the Barley Dream
Paid the price for the seasons green
The cup was filled, his blood was spilled
It was the Rite of the Barley Dream
I bore his sons and he called me wife
I bore the cup and I held the knife
We loved as one in the setting sun
I gave him dreams and I took his life
We laughed and loved as the wheel turned
Our lives were full and our passion burned
For seven years we knew no fears
As the babies grew and the children learned
If the seed would grow then the stalk must fall
Rebirth through death is the fate of all
The body's tomb is the Mother's womb
You need not run from the Reaper's call
His last sight was the Barley Dream
Paid the price for the seasons green
The cup was filled and his blood was spilled
It was the Rite of the Barley Dream
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
lsc (Lecture Series Committee):
LSC Movies for the weekend of Aug 7 to Aug 8
Fri. Aug 7 Gorillas in the Mist [PG-13] 10-250 8pm
Sigourney Weaver stars in this spellbinding dramatization as Dian Fossey,
the controversial anthropologist who devoted nearly twenty years of her
life to studying and protecting the mountain gorillas of Rwanda and whose
fearless actions eventually cost her her life. Also featuring Bryan Brown.
Sat. Aug 8 Married to the Mob [R] 10-250 8pm
Michelle Pfeiffer stars as the widow of a hit-man who complicates her life
by falling in love with a G-man (Matthew Modine), while fending off the
romantic advances of a mob boss (Dean Stockwell). This offbeat comedy is a
mixture of mobsters, mayhem, and romance.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
For more information, call the LSC MovieLine, 258-8881,
or the LSC office, 253-3791.
MIT or Wellesley ID required, one guest allowed per ID.
Admission to movies is $1.50
(either or both shows of double features)
Problems and changes to the mailing list should be addressed to
info-lsc-request@zurich.ai.mit.edu
This service is neither maintained nor supported by the
MIT Lecture Series Committee.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
starflt (Derrick Kong):
A Brand-New Ball Game
A U.S. military advisor in El Salvador who formerly served in Vietnam,
Cambodia, Laos, and Thailand, as quoted in the New York Times: "All
I want to do is win one war, that's all, just once. It'll be like
winning the World Series for me."
from No Comment
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
therese (Therese):
One day in a nuclear age
they may understand our rage
They build machines that they can't control
And bury the waste in a great big hole
Power was to become cheap and clean
Grimy faces were never seen
But deadly for twelve thousand years is
carbon fourteen
We work the black seam together
- Sting
Dream of the Blue Turtles
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
warlord (Derek Atkins):
History of the World
Occasionally we come across something that shows the lighter side of
teaching. The following was compiled by history teacher Richard
Lederer of St. Paul's School, New Hampshire from essays written by
students, grades 8 through college. Hope that you find it
amusing and informative.
The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They
lived in the Sarah Dessert and travelled by Camelot. The
climate ofthe Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live
elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by
irritation. The Egyptians built Pyramids in the shape of a
huge triangular cube.
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the
first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created
from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I
my brother's son?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice Issac on
Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Issac, stole his brother's
birthmark. Jacob was a patriarch who brought up his twelve
sons to be patriarchs, but they did not take to it. One of
Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.
The Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread
without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made
unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
Afterwards, Moses went upon Mount Cyanide to get the ten
commandments. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the
liar. He fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who
lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had
500 wives and 500 porcupines.
Without the Greeks, we wouldn't have history. The
Greeks invented three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric
and Ironic. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the
River Stynx until he became intolerable. Archilles appeared
in "The Illiad", by Homer. Homer also wrote the "Oddity",
in which Penelope was the hardest hardship that Ulysses endured
on this journey. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer, but
by another man of that name.
Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around
giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died of an
overdose of wedlock.
In the Olympic Games, the Greeks ran races, jumped,
hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward was a
coral wreath. The government of Athens was democratic because
people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars
in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't
climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. When they
fought the Parisians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the
Parisians had more men.
Eventually the Romans conquered the Geeks. History
called people Romans because they never stayed in one place
very long. At Roman banquets the guests wore garlic in their
hair. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battle fields
of Gaul. The Ides of March killed him because they thought
he was going to be made king. Nero ws a cruel tyranny who
would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
Then, came the Middle Ages. King Alfred conquered the
Dames. King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery. King Harlod
mustarded his troops before the Battle of Hastings, Joan of
Arc was canonized by George Bernard Shaw, and the victims of
the Black Death grew boobs on their necks. Finally, the Magna
Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the
same offense.
In midevil times most of the people were alliterate.
The greatest writer fo the times was Chaucer, who wrote many
poems and verse and also wrote literature. A tale tells of
William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing
on his son's head.
The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals
felt the value of their human being. Martin Luther was nailed
to the church door at Wittenberg for selling papal indulgences.
He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull. It
was the painter Donatello's interest in the female nude that
made him the father of Renaissance. It was and age of great
inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented the Bible, Sir
Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented
cigarettes. Another important invention was the circulation
of blood. Sir Francis Drake circimcised the world with a
100 ft. clipper.
The government of England was a limited mockery.
Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on
his knee. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen". As a queen
she was a success. When Elizabeth exposed herself before her
troops they all shouted "hurrah". Then, her navy went out and
defeated the Spanish Armadillo.
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William
Shakespear. Shakespear never made much money and is famous only
because of his plays. He lived in Windsor with his merry wives,
writing tragedies, comedies and errors. In one of Shakespear's
famous plays, Hamlet rations out his situation by relieving
himself in a long soliloquy. In another, Lady McBeth tries
to convince McBeth to kill the king by attacking his manhood.
Romeo and Juliet are an example of heroic couplet. Writing at
the same time as Shakespear was Miquel Cervantes. He wrote
"Donkey Hote". The next great author was John Milton. Milton
wrote "Paradise Lost". Then his wife died and he wrote
"Paradise Regained".
During the Renaissance America began. Christopher
Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while
cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina,
the Pinta, and the Santa Fe. Later the Pilgrims crossed the
Ocean, and that was the called the Pilgrim's Progress. When
they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by Indians, who
came down the hill rolling their war hoops before them. The
Indian squabs carried porpoises, which proved very fatal to
them. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers.
Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith
was responsible for all this.
One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the
English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send
their parcels through the post without stamps. During the war,
Red Coats and Paul Revere were throwing balls over stone walls.
The dogs were barking and the peacocks crowing. Finally, the
colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis.
Delegates from the original thirteen states formed the
Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin
Franklin were the two singers of the Declaration of Independence.
Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in his
picked and a loaf of bread under each arm. He invented
electricity by rubbing cats backward and declared "a horse
divided against itself cannot stand". Franklin died in 1790
and is still dead.
George Washington married Martha Curtis and in due time
came the Father of Our Country. Then the Constitution of the
United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under
the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.
Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest President.
Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin
which he built with his own hands. When Lincoln was President,
we wore only a tall silk hat. He said "In onion there is
strength". Abraham Lincoln write the Gettysburg address while
travelling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an
envelope. He also signed the Emasculation Proclamation, and
the Fourteenth Amendment game the ex-Negroes citizenship. But
the Clue Clux Clan would tocher and lynch the ex-Negroes and
other innocent victims. On the night of April 14, 1865,
Lincoln went to the theatre and got shot in is seat by one of
the actors in a moving picture show. The Believed assinator
was John Wilkes Booth, as supposedly insane actor. This ruined
Booth's career.
Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable
time. Voltare invented electricity and also wrote a book
called "Candy". Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is
chiefly noticeable in the Autumn, when the apples are falling
off the trees.
Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so
was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian and half
English. He was very large. Bach died from 1750 to the present.
Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf
he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even
when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827
and later died for this.
France was in a very serious state. The French
Revolution was accomplished before it happened. The Marscillaise
was the theme song of the French Revolution, and it catapulted
into Napoleon. During the Napoleonic Wars, the crowned heads
of Europe were trembling in the shoes. Then the Spanish
gorillas came down from the hills and nipped at Napoleon's
flanks. Napoleon became ill with bladder problems and was very
tense and unrestrained. He wanted an heir to inherit his power
but since Josephine was a baroness she couldn't bear him any
children.
The sun never set on the British Empire because the
British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West.
Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for
63 years. Her reclining years and finally the end of her life
were exemplatory of a great personality. Her death was the final
event which ended her reign.
The nineteenth century was the time of many great
inventions and thoughts. The invention of the steamboat caused
a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McComich invented the
McComich Raper, which did the work of hundred men. Samuel
Morse invented a code for telepathy. Louis Pasteur discovered
a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote
the "Organ of the Species". Madam Curie discovered radium.
And Karl Marz became one of the Marx Brothers.
The first World War, caused by the assignation of the
Arch-Duck by a surf, ushered in a new error in the anals of
human history.
--- End of Central America ---
