[4330] in Central_America
New quotes for Sat Jun 6
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
Sat Jun 6 01:51:36 1992
Date: Sat, 6 Jun 92 01:51:17 -0400
From: root@charon.MIT.EDU (Initializer.SysDaemon)
To: ca-mtg@bloom-beacon.mit.edu
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brlewis (Bruce R. Lewis):
Article 3377 of rec.humor.funny:
Path: bloom-picayune.mit.edu!snorkelwacker.mit.edu!usc!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!looking!funny-request
Message-ID: <S3ff.35a2@looking.on.ca>
Date: Thu, 4 Jun 92 19:30:4 EDT
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: ipg@dcs.warwick.ac.uk (Ian Gent)
Subject: U.S. Constitution 101
Keywords: original, topical, smirk
Approved: funny@clarinet.com
Lines: 19
Two questions. Their relationship is for you to determine.
One answer is given.
1. Who chooses the Vice President of the United States?
(Answer: The President.)
2. There is one person in the U.S. to whom the V.P.'s performance
as President cannot possibly matter in any way. Name him.
Ian Gent, University of Warwick
[This came to me as an original thought, but
many doubtless had it in 1988]
--
Selected by Brad Templeton. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com.
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
If you don't need an auto-reply, submit to rhf@clarinet.com instead.
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cyrus (Die Die Yankee Dog!):
ONE: I will donate my entire ``BABY HUEY'' comic book collection
to the downtown PLASMA CENTER..
TWO: I won't START a BAND called ``KHADAFY & THE HIT SQUAD''..
THREE: I won't ever TUMBLE DRY my FOX TERRIER again!!
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dill (Angie Hinrichs):
Working at Xerox PARC this summer --
Summer Address: 1984 Latham St. #35
Mountain View, CA 94040
(415) 964-4882
Personal stuff: My numbers are 6-3 '94 2245. I'm from Dayton, OH, the oldest
of 5 kids. There is no specific motivation behind my username. I think
Internet is really neat, and athena is what got me into course 6. Sooner or
later I will find a decent quote to put in here... maybe. :)
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dryfoo (Gary L. Dryfoos):
{From system: This user's home-planet is not a readable world}
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eichin (Mark W. Eichin):
Things I'm doing:
Trying to decide if "accomplishment" really is a drug.
And if I'm addicted to it.
And if this is a problem...
Long term...
Tooling. Earning enough money to retire by age 35. *then* playing.
Lyrics:
Right Now...
I can't tell you. But I'm almost finished.
Silliness:
Of course, cellular phones require users to be within range of a
transmitter site, and they also cost quite a bit to operate. The first
problem has been partly alleviated with the addition of a 6-element
yagi beam antenna, but a much more dramatic long-term solution is the
OmniTRACS satellite terminal from Qualcomm. This 1-watt
spread-spectrum 14 GHz transceiver gives me 24-hour coverage over all
of North America via the GTE GSTAR satellite and the Network Management
Center in San Diego. A fully automated network gateway links mail sent
via this path into the internet.
-- prospectus for the BEHEMOTH (nee' winnebiko)
(One amusing fact: the 105-speed drivetrain covers an
extremely wide range from 7.5 to 122 gear inches. This translates
into some interesting numbers... in the granny gear, one full pedal
revolution moves me forward 22 inches. In the tall gear, the same
pedal stroke moves me 33 feet.)
-- more BEHEMOTH docs...
New toys:
"The Twiddler", combination of mouse and keyboard. I'll bring
it by next time I'm in the SIPB office. It's neat. Now I've got
the specs for the protocol, so an X driver will be done soon...
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happyjak (Stephen Rinehart):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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jefft (Jeff Tang):
[Military officer onscreen]
Servo: "General Nuisance."
Crow: "Major Indifference."
Joel: "Colonel...Popcorn."
--- "It Conquered the World"
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mrg (Mark R Griffith):
to graduate.
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panda (Chris Reed):
Strat-O-Matic MLB 1991 (72 games)
Div GIH Team W L PCT GB LAST 3 SERIES
--------------------------------------------------------------------
NlW - Atlanta 49 23 .681 --- 5-1 vLA, 2-1 vDet
NLW - Los Angeles 41 31 .569 8.0 4-2 Tor, 2-1 Det, 2-4 Bos
AlW - Texas 37 35 .514 12.0 0-3 Tor, 0-3 LA, 2-1 Det
NlW - Houston 33 39 .458 16.0 1-2 @Tor, 0-3 @Tor, 2-1 vTor
AlE - Toronto 33 39 .458 16.0 3-0 vDet, 1-2 @Bos, 2-1 vHou
AlE - Boston 31 41 .431 18.0 2-1 vTor, 1-2 @Det, 4-2 Det
AlE - Detroit 28 44 .389 21.0 0-3 @Tor, 2-1 Bos, 2-4 @Bos
Toronto beat Houston in Houston 12-4 to capture the 4th playoff spot.
PLAYOFFS!
2 Los Angeles
3 Texas LA wins 4-3
1 Atlanta being scheduled
4 Toronto
AWAY (15-18) (12-21) (17-19) (8-10) (22-12) (15-6) (16-11)
HOME Det Hou Bos Tor LA Atl Tex
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(12-21)Det xxxxxxxx|6-4 5-4|9-2 4-5|3-5 |9-4 4-1|3-4 5-2|10-2 5-4
xxxxxxxx|4-6 6-5|4-5 11-2|2-11 |11-5 3-5|5-4 10-8|11-6 7-8
xxxxxxxx|2-3 12-5|8-4 7-5|4-1 |3-2 10-7|6-0 7-8|7-9 11-4
--------------------------------------------------------------------
(20-16)Hou 2-3 3-6|xxxxxxxx|3-4 5-9|0-3 2-1|3-4 14-1|3-8 7-2|2-3 8-3
3-4 2-1|xxxxxxxx|3-4 2-3|4-7 2-3|3-1 3-0|1-2 1-2|3-4 1-4
6-1 8-2|xxxxxxxx|4-5 5-4|3-0 1-2|4-2 3-11|6-3 7-6|6-3 6-5
--------------------------------------------------------------------
(13-20)Bos 2-3 4-7|2-3 0-15|xxxxxxxx|0-3 |0-2 1-5|16-4 8-6|11-6 5-3
3-6 6-2|6-8 9-2|xxxxxxxx|3-5 |15-1 6-5|14-5 6-3|9-1 16-2
6-3 6-7|9-2 1-8|xxxxxxxx|8-3 |3-2 2-3|7-4 5-3|3-0 7-2
--------------------------------------------------------------------
(9-12) Tor 3-1 |1-8 4-7|2-3 3-2|xxxxxxxx|8-3 3-2| |2-6
4-5 |4-7 1-6|7-2 0-3|xxxxxxxx|5-3 4-1| |7-3
4-3 |2-5 4-3|2-9 8-5|xxxxxxxx|4-3 2-1| |4-5
------------------------------------------------------------------
(18-18)LA 4-3 3-4|0-2 5-7|9-0 7-6|0-3 2-4|xxxxxxxx|8-6 4-3|3-5 3-2
1-0 2-14|1-3 1-4|6-3 12-2|1-0 4-3|xxxxxxxx|13-8 7-1|3-8 0-4
1-3 9-14|9-8 3-7|1-2 3-4|2-3 5-4|xxxxxxxx|5-4 15-3|4-5 5-2
--------------------------------------------------------------------
(14-7) Atl 6-4 8-9|4-2 6-2|4-8 7-8| |0-11 1-8|xxxxxxxx|
6-5 2-11|0-3 1-9|5-3 1-6| |4-8 8-7|xxxxxxxx|
4-8 8-4|4-7 1-2|9-11 3-2| |1-3 1-15|xxxxxxxx|
--------------------------------------------------------------------
(12-9) Tex 6-4 16-6|1-6 8-3|4-3 8-9| |7-6 4-2| |xxxxxxxx
9-10 1-4|2-3 9-2|7-8 5-4| |4-5 7-6| |xxxxxxxx
6-7 10-5|9-3 4-7|5-7 7-6| |4-5 6-2| |xxxxxxxx
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Det Hou Bos Tor LA Atl Tex
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rnewman (Ron Newman):
Home: (617) 628-8895; 48 Kent St., Somerville MA 02143
Work: BBN, (617) 873-6339
FORTUNE: So how do you feel about the federal government?
Is it too big, in absolute terms? Ought to be smaller? Is it, maybe,
involved in aspects of American life where it has no business being?
Or is it, maybe, not involved in other areas where it ought to be?
Perot: Interesting question. Never thought about it. Have to
think about it.
-- from an interview in FORTUNE magazine, June 15, 1992
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rnoyer (Robert R Noyer):
{From system: This user's .plan file is not world readable}
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sipb7 (Guest7 Sipb):
<harryu@tfs.com>:
...
Sigh star. GAMIT, the gay group at MIT, invited Morty to speak at a
series of seminars we organized during the inter-semester Independent
Activities Period of, let's see, 1975. He was president of the NYC
Gay Activists Alliance at the time. I remember we went off late that
night to Ken's at Copley, a restaurant famous for filling up quite
suddenly at 2:10 PM (bars in Massachusetts close at 2AM). When the
waitress came over to take our order, Morty asked her in a severely
confrontational tone, "Do you serve homosexuals here?". The waitress
glanced around the dining room and replied "At this hour, sir, we
serve nothing *but* homosexuals." (it's heartwarming to reflect that
the old Durgin Park tough-as-nails-with-a-heart-of-gold tradition
continues, even if elsewhere). Morty beamed an angelic child's smile
and said "Good, I'll take two."
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starflt (Derrick Kong):
TRY USING A TRASH CAN LID
Metagaming's The Fantasy Trip system tells us that the largest
shield available can only stop three points of damage. This means that
someone armed with a sling stands a decent chance of penetrating the
shield and injuring the shield-user.
from Murphy's Rules
--- End of Central America ---
